Lunch with Artemis

“Poetry is the most efficient way to render a moment.”

I went to Deep Stretch Yoga this morning, and was pleasantly surprised at class. My beautiful friend Artemis, a magical yogi, an elven spirit warrior, and of course, a moon goddess, was subbing today and guided us through an amazing deep, healing practice. Artemis and I have been attempting to arrange a get together for months now, and the universe told us today, “get out of the way silly humans, time to meet up.” After class, we had green smoothies, a wholesome delicious lunch at Jimbo’s, and amazing conversation.

“You never wish on shooting stars. You wish on the ones that have the courage to shine where they are.” -Andrea Gibson

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We shared some intentions for 2017, enjoyed the beautiful San Diego December weather, and magical energy and synchronicity.

Wild Medicine. Barcelona.


The avatar I’ve used for Spliff MacGyver and this website comes from this hilarious Taiwanese animation company, Tomo News (Chinese: 蘋果動新聞), previously known as Next Media Animation, NMA News and Taiwanese Animators.

With the recent passing of Prop 64 in California, acceptance of cannabis usage is becoming more mainstream. I use cannabis for creativity, perspective change, and of course recreationally at times. However, I prefer to do it very ceremonially, and I integrated a practice that was shared with me by a Jedi Yogi in Costa Rica to always have an intention when using medicine. We have a practice of writing an intention into the crutch of every spliff we smoke.

When I have the time or inclination, I also use a cauldron that I acquired not long after my Bulletproof Exorcist weekend in Pasadena a few months ago. We “marinate” the spliffs with various herbs that I ordered from the Witch SuperCenter. These give each puff a unique flavor and energy. Recently, to celebrate a milestone, we crafted a spliff cross that we blazed in the backyard.

Fear and Joy in Quantum Dimensions

“This is not a kiddie ride! Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!”

We have been having a wonderful family reunion over Christmas break with my sister and her in-laws. My wife has been suffering from anxiety and depression over the past few years, and she displays symptoms of PTSD from her childhood as a Vietnam war refugee and the trauma of being married to yours truly. The fact that I’ve been investing our life savings to support Spliff and Jimmy and to build a constantly pivoting software project hasn’t helped either.

At Disneyworld, my wife got on the Barnstormer kids’ roller coaster with us and was terrified. She was screaming in terror the whole ride. It was definitely a release of some energy.

The Fear and Joy Cycle

Through various modalities of healing and light work over the past few years, I’ve come to understand tools to release buried trauma, and they all seem to require a cycle of Fear (or Intensity), Courage to push through the Fear, a Release of Energy, and an experience of Joy (or Love) that leads to:

the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.

The Vagal Tone

In the past year, since my yoga teacher training in Costa Rica, I’ve been hearing about the Vagal tone and the Vagus nerve and their roles in the healing trauma. A passionate conversation about the Vagal tone in San Francisco with Cage led to the Wonderland Gambit and that journey, which also led us to Gandalf.

When trauma isn’t processed, we end up stuck on LOW, feeling depressed, numb, or wanting to die. In order to make a change in behavior and mindset, it requires an emotional connection to change thought, and fear and joy are the most universal and strongest emotions. By triggering fear and joy back to back, it seems we can jump start the parasympathetic nervous system, and restore emotional balance.

“Fear is your best friend or your worst enemy. It’s like fire. If you can control it, it can cook for you; it can heat your house. If you can’t control it, it will burn everything around you and destroy you. If you can control your fear, it makes you more alert, like a deer coming across the lawn.”Mike Tyson

For Spliff, it was facing heartbreak, death, and fear on the mean streets of Sacramento, intense code, and joyful blaze sessions. My modalities were plant medicine journeys, meditation, yoga, and personal development seminars.

It’s been interesting to experiment with transcendence of fear…

What’s on the other side of fear?


Dinner with Death Eaters

I had dinner earlier this week with my amazing friends, Guinevere Osgraver and Wicklow Ferryman, two retired Death Eaters.

We had met during The Pilgrimage. After Voldemort was killed, they decided to take a road trip across America. Shortly after that trip, they went to Peru, where we met.

We (my family) are having a family reunion this week with my sister’s family, and we visited Hogwarts and Diagon Alley today. We had some lunch and Butterbeer at The Leaky Cauldron and I picked up a magic wand at Ollivanders’. It once belonged to Sirius Black. We visited The Gringotts Wizarding Bank and have been exploring our funding options.

Spliff had stayed behind in San Diego and is playing with RNNs and Brainfuck. He ran out of weed today.

Gatekeeper… is there a hidden cache here somewhere?

I told him about the secret stash I hid above the microwave for him and chatted with him over Slack about some potential funding options. The families and I spent the afternoon at Hogwarts and Hogsmeade.

As 2016 comes to a close, I want to take a moment to honor Severus Snape. R.I.P.

Undercover Chinese Dad

We went to see Star Wars: Rogue One on opening night in glorious IMAX 3D tonight with Mr. X and his friends. It was an amazing movie and experiencing the Star Wars universe with modern graphics and art direction gave me nostalgic chills juxtaposed with a fresh sense of delight. It felt like continuous cinematic eyegasms through an inspiring journey of courage and sacrifice. Mr. X is wearing a black Star Tours polo shirt, tucked into his jeans, and sneakers. He has Chinese Dad glasses and hair. Raptorman and Mr. X arrived at the theater first, so Raptorman asked Mr. X, “are your kids coming too?” Mr. X scoffs, “Kids?” Raptorman was shocked and thought to himself, “But you look like such a Chinese dad!”

After the movie, Raptorman and I hung out next to the theater with Mr. X and his young coder friend Starbrand. Raptorman blazed while explaining blaze++ to Starbrand, and we discussed coding for a while. Eventually, the conversation turned to nostalgia and the 80’s. It flooded Mr. X with stories of the past. He mentioned his favorite Battle Star Galactica episode about a Western cowboy planet and a Cylon cowboy named Redeye.

“It really stands out. Head and shoulders above the other episodes.”

Throughout the conversation, he also shared surprising things about himself from when he was a young man.

I said “Damn, you’re like a gangster with an underground past. I can hardly imagine it, I picture you back then with a Daft Punk helmet and a sparkly purple suit to hide your secret identity.” We all busted out laughing, especially Mr. X.


Creative Flow

I had just returned from The Ranch at the end of July, and was supercharged with energy. I had some peak experiences there and was in what felt like a permanent state of flow.

“What if we could use those peak experiences to make us whole, to render us holy?… and in Houston Smith’s immortal words: ‘Might we begin then to transform our passing illuminations into abiding light?'”


The flow state had been triggered for over a week, and my perceptions of colors was shifted. Blues and greens looked soothing and good, and reds and oranges were intense and gave me a headache. In a way, it felt as though I had lost my shadow, and the alignment of my state of being could only handle light and order.

I flew to Seattle for an interview for an executive management position at a major player in the virtual reality space. I played some amazing demos, had super high energy through the interview process (possibly to the point of freaking them out), and spent the evening with one of my best friends, Avenfeld. Avenfeld and I had an amazing dinner and conversation, which helped shift my perspective of the responsibility to change the world to a privilege to change the world.

After I returned to San Diego, the flow state increased in intensity, and it felt like I was overclocked and overheating. On the plus side, I reorganized much of the house, on the down side, I was unable to turn it off. To turn the flow dial down, I decided one morning to take a heavy dose of Bhang bar edible chocolate and laid on my Thai mattress in my office, listening to this Bruce Lee remix by Melodysheep on continual repeat:

I passed out for about an hour, and when I came to, my brain was reset. I felt calm and peaceful, and the edge of the flow was reduced. That afternoon, I took the kids to see Suicide Squad. I was so blazed, I don’t remember much of the movie, I just remember feeling the emotional beats of the movie, that it wasn’t very good, and that I was now in love with Harley Quinn.


I still don’t fully understand what happened to me.

Balance was restored. I ended up not getting the Seattle job, which in hindsight was a good thing, because it would have slowed down the progress on my journey to the current projects. I wouldn’t have gone on the Quantum Vegas Weekend trip or met Gandalf.

For one of our tech demos, we embedded the Be Water My Friend into it, and have been coding away and listening to it on repeat, nonstop for the past two weeks. Thank you, spirit of Bruce Lee for guiding us on this journey.

Joe Rogan

I watched Joe Rogan: Triggered tonight. I had seen Joe live a couple months ago in Pasadena with The Hatter, Cage, and Hapa Alice. Rolling Stone calls him a 21st century Timothy Leary, and he was definitely a huge influence in my pursuit of higher consciousness.

A few years ago, when I was still living in Taipei, I watched Talking Monkeys in Space and at the end of the special, someone in the audience asked him about DMT.

“What I do like to partake in is shit that I know doesn’t kill you and changes the way you think, and those are called psychedelic drugs. And the only reason that those drugs are lumped in together with all the other drugs, is they’re afraid of the consequences socially. That’s what happened in the 60’s…

…and the craziest drug that is illegal is a drug that your own brain produces, and very people know about this. It’s called DMT. And not only does your brain produce it, but it’s in hundreds of different ecosystems, it’s in thousands of different plants, it’s literally, it’s produced by a thing in your brain that’s your third eye. It’s produced by a gland called the pineal gland…

…this gland, where they think most of this emanates from, in reptiles, it actually has a retina and a cornea and a lens. It’s a fucking eyeball. And it makes this incredibly potent psychedelic drug.

And when you smoke this stuff, you are transported into another fucking dimension… where you communicate with complex geometric patterns… that are made out of love and understanding. And I know that sounds crazy… that sounds like nonsense… it sounds like if that was real, for sure you wouldn’t be hearing about it from the Fear Factor guy.”

After hearing this, I knew I had to find this other dimension and communicate with these otherworldly beings.


Joe is awesome:

“…and I think that this life that you and I are experiencing, might just be one frame in some infinite movie that goes on forever and makes no sense to any of us….

…and I think that the one thing that we can choose to do…

we can choose to have more fun…
we can choose to party more…
we can choose to laugh more…
we can choose to take shit less seriously…

be a cooler person, tip more, cut the cunts out of your life, and have yourself a good fucking time!”