The Way of the Shaman

The Long Road
A couple years ago, after a week of Ayahuasca ceremonies, and several Huachuma ceremonies and jungle walks, I returned late one night to my room and received a message from the universe. The Spirit of the Curandero. The Way of the Shaman. The Long Road.

thewayoftheshaman


CBD Conference
Last week, an invitation to Texas for a spiritual medicine gathering manifested. I flew and spent two days connecting with the medicine and a beautiful conscious community. The medicine is a CBD oil product formulated by a shamanic wizard chemist and is magic. The conference was full of scientific information and inspiring stories of transformation.

On the first day of the conference, I met Touch Healer from Boulder. She had a gentle beautiful spirit, and we connected immediately. I could feel her energy, a limbic resonance. We went to dinner at an Oaxacan restaurant and when we sat down, she said,

“I know we have a lot to say to each other, but can we just be with each other for a moment.”

We sat down at our table in the crowded restaurant and I gazed into her eyes. My being radiated with energy and the rest of the world melted away. It was a deep soul connection, and I felt clean and beautiful energy flowing through my body. Love. Pure.

Touch Healer began to share one of her personal fears, and slowly processed it. Then she said,

“How about our planet? What do you think?”

I just smiled at her and said,

“We’re going to be ok.”

I knew this in my soul from my journey in Arrowhead. The collective consciousness of humanity has figured out how to solve the world’s problems, and we are now manifesting the solutions. I nodded gently at her as tears streamed down her face. We then enjoyed a beautiful meal of various types of seafood with different mole sauces.

Touch Healer and I had a profound energetic connection. There was a point during the conference, she asked, “May I?” I nodded, and she put her arm around me. I felt a charge of energy… of love… emanating through our connection. It was deep and powerful and I laid my head on her shoulder, as the world outside melted away.

Beautiful.

The next day, I continued connecting with amazing people. I met a beautiful alien with green hair ornamented with feathers, with a Belgian Shephard dog and a Nepalese singing bowl.

“Would you like to walk my dog with me?”

We walked out to a nearby park, and laid on the grass, grounding after spending most of the day indoors. We talked about other dimensions and soaked in the blue sky, as the music from an ice cream truck provided a surreal soundtrack.

She invited me to an 11:11 ceremony with a hand drawn invitation card. At this point, another friend, Rowdy showed up and hung out with us for a while. A homeless man approaches us and asks for a birthday gift. We give him some cash and change, then sing happy birthday before heading back to the hotel for dinner.

The conference was amazing. I felt energized.


NASAPhoto Jun 11, 2 24 03 PM

The following day, I went to the NASA Space Center. I was inspired by what humanity can achieve when we work together. Amazing. During the tour, I saw the words:

UNITY, DESTINY, HARMONY

Photo Jun 17, 11 19 42 PM

A Prophecy.
We’re really going to be ok…


Grey Jedi Bee Medicine

Ahsoka-rain-art

After getting back to California, I headed up one day to spend time with friends. As I was driving up, Ahsoka, the Grey Jedi sent me this image and told me that she could feel me looking at her through this image.


I had sushi with the Alaskan Ninja, then coffee with a couple of spirit sisters, and went to Ahsoka’s place to catch up. We smoked a bowl, and she told me she had another friend coming over. She said she was afraid he’d be overly affectionate and it bothered her and made her uncomfortable.

Anti-Chris arrives and we head to the clubhouse. We swim in the pool and sit in the hot tub. Anti-Chris got affectionate with Ahsoka, and he got touchy and kissy. Ahsoka alternated between being uncomfortable and enjoying the attention. It triggered feelings of creepiness in me.

As I am sitting in the hot tub with Ahsoka, Anti-Chris hovers around and tells his story,

“All nine of my ex-girlfriends have been bipolar and ADHD.”

As he spoke of his life and his struggles, I could feel his darkness and shadow. I didn’t judge, just witnessed. Suddenly, a couple of bees showed up, and startled him. He had an experience as a child where he was stung by thousands of bees and almost died, so was understandably terrified.

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The bees began to orbit my head. They felt like electrons zipping around the nucleus of my brain. Bee Medicine entered my life in a strong way when I got stung by a solitary queen bee which somehow left a stinger in my left ring knuckle (solitary bees don’t leave their stingers, it must of torn off when I reacted and flicked it off of my stung knuckle) while I was hiking with my wife on LSD in Big Bear.

Trust in Miracles. Manifest Abundance. One of the bees ending up getting trapped behind me in a puddle of water as I sat in the hot tub. It was struggling and I blew it with a gust into the dry sunny concrete. Ahsoka looks at the bee with concern. Anti-Chris comes over and looks at it. I say,

“It’ll be ok. She’ll dry off and fly on her own.”

A few minutes later, the bee flew off.


Holding Space

We went inside. Later in the evening, I have Ahsoka some CBD Oil, then I put my arm around Ahsoka and channeled love in the same way that Touch Healer had showed me. Ahsoka started channeling spirit guides and her body began to move. She was delivering messages from the Universe.

“Mother Gaia wants me to tell you. Cannabis is medicine. The THC is the male part of the medicine… CBD is the female. CBD… will save the world.”

We were connecting psychically. She and I both understood that Anti-Chris was a fractal pattern that she was attracting to her based on some energy she had inside. I saw a reflection of myself in him. When he wanted to hug and kiss her, it was his channeling of love. He couldn’t help himself.

A few other friends came over to her condo and I told Ahsoka I was going to head home, and she grabbed my arm.

“Please stay. You’re the only one here I can really trust.”

She looks over at Anti-Chris as her hands make frantic hand signs and her eyes widen with fear and tells me,

“I should be looking for Luke, but I keep finding Anakins.”

She continued channeling and received messages from the television,

“Beware the Demon Samurai.”
“69 – Yin & Yang”

She lays down on her love mat – a futon like cushion that hovers inches off the floor and I lay down next to her holding space for her. My right hand hover over her body, and I continue to channel love and prana. She guides my hand and presses it on various parts of her body, and shares stories from her past. Stories of hurt and pain from men in her life, especially her ex, Steve. I can feel her releasing trauma. It is energetically intense, and I focus on hold pure, energetically clean space.

On the television, a news story comes on about Steve McNair and his murder. Her eyes go wide. “Steve…”

“And then she put a gun to her head.”

Ahsoka loses it and starts bawling. I continue to hold space and she continues telling stories. Finally she sits up and tells a story of her deepest shame…

“I felt like I was taken advantage of. It felt… alien

and then when we went camping, ___ saw us making out, and all the women found out.

The shame…”

I have my left hand on her back, and my right hand on her back as she energetically purged, trembling and releasing the shame… then weeping deeply. After several minutes, she calmed down, and relaxed.

“Where’s Anti-Chris? I can feel his jealousy… Anakins… I keep drawing them.”

By now it was nearly 3am, and I needed to drive home. The Way of the Shaman. The Long Road. I cannot deny it.

Spaceship Earth

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. And I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” – Benjamin Button

Three years ago, I was in Bali, and had my first experience with psychedelics. I ate two bags of psilocybin mushrooms on the beach in Nusa Dua and my heart opened. That night, I took a bubble bath that unveiled the layers of the universe to the windows of my perception. I telepathically communicated with a gecko.

“Gecko! Speak to me!”

“You suck at speaking to animals. You need to go do Ayahuasca.”

“…”

Two years ago, I went to Peru to find myself. I partook in a series of Ayahuasca ceremonies to find inspiration for the next chapter of my life. I already had a successful 23-year career in video games, my childhood dream job, and it was time for a change.

Mother Ayahuasca gave me a clear message,

“Open your wife’s heart. Mother Earth misses her.”

I asked Mother Ayahuasca many questions. Invariably, the answer would simply be, “Love.” So obvious. So simple. So profound. Yet, so hard to practice.

I traveled all over the world, into other dimensions, explored other perspectives, deepened my perception, and healed. I experimented with every modality of raising consciousness I could find and devoured them all. I communed with the spirits of Ayahuasca, Huachuma, Bobinsana, Vilca, Singado, and Psilocybin. I experimented with synthetics, MDMA and LSD, which didn’t resonate as much for me, though they were positive experiences. I conducted my own personal mapacho and cannabis ceremonies – on my own, and with loved ones. I kept seeking. Learning.

I also dove into the deep end of yoga and meditation, doing a yoga teacher training in Costa Rica, and practicing various forms of meditation and pranayama. I explored the world of personal development with PSI Seminars and the Kwik Learning Conference.

Finally, this year, I met God. I became one with the universe twice this year. 5MEO-DMT. The God Molecule. The most profound experience imaginable.

My intentions:

Surrender. Unconditional Love. Love and Abundance.

This energy has been seared into my soul. I have a constant connection to Source now. I wake up flowing with prana, filled with love, and my presence in the NOW is stronger than ever in my life.

Abundance is flowing. I am surrounded by love. So much love. Community.

Last week, my oldest daughter experienced her first true heartbreak. Her high school sweetheart broke up with her. She is so sad. Crying and asking herself why. For the first few days, she just wanted to be left alone to cry in her room, so we let her.

Last night, I was watching Silicon Valley in my office, and she came in.

I comforted her.

“There is no why. He is an 18 year old boy, about to move to New York by himself. You both are too young.

It’s ok to feel sad. Feel it as deeply as you can. This is life. This is love.

You will love again. Don’t let this make you be afraid to love.”

She cried. I continued to comfort her, placing my hand gently on her shoulder and rubbed her back.

“Mom and I love you, and we’ll always be here for you. Mom has healed. I had to go heal myself, so that she could heal herself too. Our family is healed. Be happy for that.

We are so proud of you.”

She shakes her head.

“We are so proud. We love you so much.”

She continues to cry. I can feel her doubt and feelings of low self-worth. I pour love into her and let her release her energy. Surrender. She asks if she can just lay in my office as I finish my show, and I let her rest.

That night, I have a profound realization.

My divine purpose: To heal myself so that I can hold the space for those around me to heal. The universe led me to heal myself by giving me an assignment to heal my wife. Divine purpose coursed through my being, like an electrical current of love.

As my shaman whispered in my ear two years ago during a Huachuma ceremony deep in the jungle, right before I snorted liquid fire (Singado) up my nostrils.

“Remember. It’s about unconditional, universal Love.

Surrender. You’re so good at it.”

Love. So obvious. So simple. So profound. So easy… If we let everything go. Surrender.

When that seems hard, I remember the words of the wise man, Joe Rogan:

“If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”

talkingmonkeys

Life is fucking amazing.

Spliff MacGyver == Tyler Durden?

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we are free to do anything.”

There have definitely been times in the past year, especially when Spliff is offsite, living in a bush, cave, or on the streets, that I wonder to myself…

“Is Spliff real? Or am I having a psychotic episode, and he’s actually me?”

Of course, I am usually super blazed when I have these thoughts. However, is it possible, that he’s just a subconscious manifestation of myself that I created in my mind and that it’s actually me that is dirty and homeless on the streets? What if my subconscious mind is just protecting me from reality, and that this San Diego suburban bubble life that I live is actually a dream or illusion? What a mindfuck

“Fuck Redemption. We are God’s unwanted children.”

Spliff hasn’t said those exact words, however he and Jimmy have definitely reflected that sentiment several times when fear and uncertainty kick in. I’ve also shared this observation with Spliff that maybe he is Tyler Durden, and his response is

“I don’t know bro, maybe, but I think I’m real.”

Green Beetle Startup

In Vancouver last week, I was in the Amsterdam Cafe, a Cannabis lounge, browsing for souvenirs. I saw some little clear plastic pieces with cockroaches and beetles inside and a small alligator clip on top. I asked the shopkeeper what they were, and he told me they were roach clips, for holding joints so they don’t burn your finger when you smoke them to the end of the roach.

I recently read about the end of “unicorn” startup era and how it is now the age of “cockroach” startups. Spliff and I had been priding ourselves on the fact that we were a “true cockroach startup” to the point that the office of our company is a roach motel room at the Desert Palace Inn in the middle of the desert in Barstow, California. It is literally infested with cockroaches.

As I stood in the lounge, looking at all the roach clips in the glass case, I thought to myself that it would be cool to get a cockroach clip to remind myself that we are a cockroach startup. I just couldn’t do it. It was too ugly. Instead, I bought a Green Beetle clip.

This afternoon, after returning to San Diego last night, I sat on my balcony, journaling, and examined the beetle clip. I had a sudden inspiration that we aren’t a cockroach startup, we are a Green Beetle Startup. I looked up the meaning of a beetle as a totem animal and found the following:

Essentially, the beetle animal totem suggests that you reap what you sow, threefold. When you consider this, it seems awfully important for you to ensure that this energy is positive, productive, and favorable to others. What are you putting out into the world?

Green means prosperity in areas of wealth and health.

Definitely better than a cockroach. We are getting out of Barstow.

The Endless Summer Mastermind

September 2015

I had talked to Tyson earlier in the year, before my first Ayahuasca journey in the Amazon. Tyson told me “You should talk to Victory, he did Ayahuasca recently.” I had gone to Victory’s wedding back in 2012, in Wellington. It was a great time, and during the best man toast, Tyson said “Victory and I used to work together at a video game company togther in the late 90s/early 2000s, and it was the best culture we ever experienced.” This was my startup that I built in Berkeley back in the day, and it was touching that two of my former employees felt this way.

We had a few conference calls, and we decided to form The Endless Summer Mastermind. The idea was that we wanted to create a new company, location independent, where we could work on meaningful projects and always be somewhere where the weather was warm and beautiful. Since Victory lived in New Zealand, and I was in San Diego, we decided to meet at Tyson’s house, as it was halfway in between, in Hawaii. The three of us met in Honolulu on September 6 as three hurricanes were converging on Hawaii.

threehurricanes

“You guys picked an interesting week to visit, three hurricanes  are converging on Hawaii.”

Tyson says when we meet at his house. “Professor, use your shaman powers and redirect the hurricanes.” “No problem,” I reply and set the intention. A week later, it appeared it worked as all three hurricanes downgraded and swerved around from the islands.

Tyson then showed us his aquaponics setup and we did his morning core workout routine with him with ten minutes of heavy crunches and planks. We spent the week finding different outdoor spots to explore and brainstorm various ideas in technology of all flavors, virtual reality, internet of things, green tech, and more. Each day, we would find a new “conference room” to hold our sessions.

  • Conference Room A – Warm waters at the beach, bobbing with hurricane swells.
  • Conference Room B – Cliff bluff overlooking the ocean after a brambly hike through overgrown mountain paths.
  • Conference Room C – Clearing with a soft pine needle bed in a forest on the mountain trail.
  • Conference Room D – Rock in the middle of the ocean after snorkeling with sea turtles and jumping off a nearby cliff into the ocean several times.
  • etc…

Tyson and Victory were adventurers, so we spent time pushing ourselves physically, then doing deep brainstorms into the night at Tyson’s house. Victory was already working with Spliff on a virtual reality browser at this time, and had flown Spliff to New Zealand, where he got kicked out at customs. We decided that the four of us would explore working together on this virtual reality browser project, and I headed back to California to prepare for The Pilgrimage in Peru.

Awesomeness Crew

I did a consulting gig for a few months in Malaysia at the end of 2014. One night, I hung out with some friends in Kuala Lumpur, and we watched the LEGO Movie.

You……..don’t have to be…….the bad guy. You are the most talented, most interesting, and most extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the Special. And so am I. And so is everyone. The prophecy is made up, but it’s also true. It’s about all of us. Right now, it’s about you, and you….still…..can change everything.

We ended up realizing that within the movie, our group of friends, The Awesomeness Crew, were all represented by characters in the movie. Naturally, as the older wise man, in the movie, I am Vitruvius.

At the time, the Octan Corporation had hired me as a consultant, and they had rented me a two bedroom apartment that I was sharing with President Business. President Business had gone out of town on a trip, so The Awesomeness Crew came over every night, and we would blaze, drink wine, and eat delicious Malaysian takeout.

The Special, Unikitty, and I decided to go on a road trip to Penang to meet up with Wildstyle, who was spending the weekend there at her mom’s place. We hotboxed the whole way there, and had a fun weekend, eating local food, having drinks at a hookah lounge, and relaxing in the oceanside villa we rented for the weekend. Unikitty and Wildstyle had grown up in Penang, so gave us an authentic tour. They were also awesome blazer girls, and rolled beautiful joints.

The Special and I talked about his friends Benny (Spaceman) and Metalbeard, and how hopefully, as in the movie, President Business would soften, and Bad Cop could also find his humanity. My daughter also visited during this period, and we explored Kuala Lumpur together, took a cooking class, and also had a great road trip to an elephant sanctuary.

During the consulting gig, Octan made me a full-time offer, however, it just didn’t feel right. I ended up turning it down and going from KL to Ko Samui on a solo journey to reflect and figure out my next step. After that trip, I arrived back in KL to tie up loose ends. Unikitty made pot brownies and gave me a dose before she and The Special dropped me off at the airport.

“Pot Brownie + Airplane = Religious Experience”

The edible weed kicked in hard at the airport. I enjoyed a last Malaysian meal, and got on the plane. I felt another narrative kick in, I was Spaceman Spliff, on a mission to explore psychedelics in space for the duration of that flight. It was a fitting end to my journey of Awesomeness in Malaysia.

Bali Shrooms

August 2014

I had a calling to do psychedelic mushrooms on the island of Gili Trawangan after reading the Vice article about this Magic Mushroom Milkshake Island. I was doing an extended consulting gig in Kuala Lumpur, and my friend Richie Samchun from Korea was vacationing in Bali with his son, so I made a last minute spontaneous trip to Bali on my way home to Taipei, where I was living at the time.

When I arrived at the Westin Nusa Dua where we stayed, Richie was waiting with five bags of psilocybin mushrooms. Synchronicity. I manifested the shrooms without making it to Gili Trawangan. That evening, we munched down the shrooms, and went to the beach (filtered image above), relaxing and waiting for the shrooms to kick in.

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We settled into some comfortable bean bags on the sand. The colored lights, warm tropical air, and lounge music blended with the soundtrack of ocean waves seemed to be perfectly designed for a psychedelic experience. As the shrooms kicked in, tears started streaming down my face and I started feeling pure joy and love in my heart. I just sat with the feeling, and didn’t have much desire to speak. Richie and I sat enjoying paradise and just let the feelings of joy and love wash over us. After a few hours, it began to get cold, and we went back to our rooms.

When I got back to my room, I ran a hot bubble bath, and soaked the chill from my bones. The bubbles were overflowing onto the bathroom floor, and the psychedelic effects of the shrooms began to peak. The mountain of bubbles I was swimming were a magical universe of sparkling multi-colored matter, which simultaneous overlaid in my mind as a pattern of galactic web of stars and the neurons of the brain. I was sensing the fractal patterns of reality, and after soaking for a while, I put on the robe, and climbed into bed.

I could see the fabric of the universe pulsing in waves, especially on the bed sheets. My senses were enhanced and the smell of the bug spray in the room really started to get to me. I called the front desk, and asked them to change rooms. They told me they would someone up to change my room. I went out onto the balcony to escape the bug spray and stood there in my bathrobe, waiting. A gecko was on the wall, so I looked at it and telepathically communicated with it.gecko

“Gecko, speak to me!”

The Gecko replies:

“You suck at speaking to animals. You need to go and do Ayahuasca.”

A young bellboy arrived to help me move my luggage to the new room and I could sense the anxiety in his entire being. He was afraid that I was an upset Western tourist. However, I was still flooded with feelings of joy and love. After we got to the new room, I reached into luggage, looking for my wallet. The young man nervously offered to go back to the old room to look for it. I found my wallet and handed him a 10,000 Rupiah tip (~USD $7.50) and his eyes grew wide with shock. “For me?” he asked, confused, and I said yes. He immediately relaxed and nodded, “Thank you. Please let me know if you need anything else.”

I climbed into bed, and decided to listen to some music. The first song I randomly chose was La Boda, by Aventura. The tempo changes throughout the song and in the middle, there are little voices that echoed in the song

“hicimo un pacto de palabra
(un pacto de palabra)
y yo te amo y tu me amas
(yo te amo y tu me amas)

I thought I was hallucinating and the shroom spirits were talking to me through the song…
“We made a pact. I love you and you love me.”

I slept amazingly well, and spent the next few days exploring Bali nearby before headed onward to Gili Trawangan.