The Genie

I’ve been thinking a lot about our ability to manifest. Law of Attraction. The Secret. Think and Grow Rich. Recently, I’ve been following the work of Jordan Peterson. He has a profound way of describing consciousness and being.

“The world is actually made of potential, and that potential is actualized by consciousness.”

Rule #1: I can’t kill anybody.

Rule #2: I can’t make anybody fall in love with anybody else.

Rule #3: I can’t bring people back from the dead.

Sounds pretty similar to our subconscious minds. We have more practical limits than a genie at least in terms of efficiency, but the fundamental truth is that we can grant ourselves almost anything wish if we are committed to the intention.

The key to this is to actually continually evolve ourselves to Truth.

“The Truth is something that burns. It burns off deadwood, and people don’t like having their deadwood burned off, oftentimes because they are like 95% deadwood.”

One of the things that has been profound recently is a commitment to the Truth. In marriage, in friendships, and in business.


“If you want to have a good relationship, man, you embed it in the Truth because if you don’t embed it in the Truth, you don’t have a relationship.”

A Truth that is uncomfortable for people that I’ve recently been exploring is the idea that we have evolved for millions of years as a male dominance selection hierarchy mediated by female choice.

“The dominance hierarchy is something that breeds heroes.”

Heroes are meta-admirable, and the ideal person, the ideal man, is the person who tells the Truth. This always leads me back to the rabbit hole of the Red Pill from the Matrix.


Which led me to this documentary, The Red Pill.

“All that my film advocates for is critical thinking for yourself as a viewer.” -Cassie Jaye

It was an interesting documentary. These days, with all the different loud factions spreading hate and fear and victim consciousness, there needs to be a greater focus on Truth and Responsibility.

We cannot find the Truth until we release our self-delusional frames of reality. We need to set the Genie free. Rather than wishing for things for our ego or worldly desires, we need to let go and discover our purpose that is greater than ourselves.



Crypto Castles

A few days ago, I went to spend some time with the Godfather. I’ve known the Godfather for years now, meeting him at a dinner party in San Francisco over a decade ago. A few years ago, we hung out for a few days in Singapore and he talked about disruptive technologies including Bitcoin, drones, 3D printing and was full of life and energy. He hosted parties at the most exclusive nightclubs and was always surrounded by interesting, brilliant people.

The Godfather gave me a hug, put his hands on my shoulders, and smiled,

“Haven’t seen you in a minute, eh?”

“Let me introduce you to some people…”

He had just gotten the keys to a new house along the Venice canals, and there was a table full of crypto experts sitting around a table with their laptops, churning away, checking out ICOs, discussing blockchain technologies, and buzzing with creative excitement.

On the drive up, I listening to a futurism podcast that was talking about Blockchain:

It is the future.


I sat at a table, and a young blonde woman with bright eyes asked me,

“So what do you do besides this? (crypto)”

“Shamanism”, I replied.

She lit up and said, “Yes! They do go hand in hand.”

The Decentralization movement attracts an interesting mix of Hackers, Bankers, Libertarians, Anarchists, and Burners. A collision of the Technocracy and the Conscious Community. Code and Psychedelics.

“Who do you trust more? A third party? Or the fundamental laws of the Universe?”

Evening came, Amazon delivered bags of drinks and snacks, and guy wearing an EOS t-shirt arrives with several large pizzas. I chow down on a couple monster slices of heart attack pizza, covered with Canadian bacon as the futurism conversations continue.

It’s about time to go, so I head into the back room to say goodbye to The Godfather.

He puts his arm around me, looks me in the eyes and says,

“Alcohol. No good.
Weed. Some health benefits. I like it.
Cocaine, Opiates. Terrible. Absolutely terrible.
Psychedelics – uplifting. You know them well.
Now… my favorite drug of all is this.

He points at a small mound of white powder. It is a dissociative nootropic stack.

“I used to blast people off, but this is just like a sip of wine.”

He hands me a silver tube, with diamonds embedded into it.

“Silver. Kills bacteria.”

I place it to my nostril and snort the white powder. It begins to hit right away, and feels as though I’m slowly detaching my consciousness from my ego. I’m still looking through my eyes… but, I’m not exactly me. The hacker chemist who formulated the substance that I just took a hit of explains the chemistry behind what is hitting my brain, and it sounds like a foreign language. I look at him, with his messy orange hair and rainbow unicorn t-shirt, and the sheer absurdity and awesomeness of the experience hits me. My life has just been a series of wild adventures that get more surreal, more epic, and more world changing.

Suddenly, some feelings of Miss Rabbit come up. I can feel some connection with her and suddenly feel nauseous. I head into the bathroom and purge… from both ends. The pizza comes back up and out. It feels great. I spend some more time talking to the Godfather in a detached yet connected altered state.

I start feeling nauseuous again and the Godfather walks me upstairs.

“You can stay in the master bedroom. Overnight if you want. I have my other house down the street.”

I lay down on a furry blanket in the bed and hear a mosquito buzzing around. I am too tired and detached to be concerned about it and rest. I can feel myself letting go of everything. It felt as though Miss Rabbit was drifting away on her own raft, and I let her flow into her own stream of reality and whatever cosmic cord that attached me to her in Arrowhead was released. She will return completely in her own power now.

I drifted to sleep to the cacophony of tech chatter downstairs. A few hours later, I awoke to a quiet empty house with a mosquito bite on each of my elbows. It felt like a message that it’s time to focus on the mission, and let go of distractions. I have a rocketship to build.


Ultra Spiritual Dolphin Magic

Pilgrimage to Chavin

A couple years ago, I was on a Pilgrimage to Chavin. I met the Dolphin Shamaness, a beautiful spirit. On the first night we met, she told a story from the week before when she went kayaking on the ocean. A pod of dolphins approached her, signaled her to follow, and led her to save the life of a naked woman who was stranded out in the middle of the ocean. Magic.

We had a deep connection through Huachuma and shared a journey across Peru with a beautiful soul tribe led by our Shaman, The Jaguar. The Jaguar’s assistant Shaman, Mars was our local guide.

With our soul tribe, we had a ceremony at Batan Grande where I stood atop the pyramid and watched the Face of God appear as the sun set. We had another at El Brujo, where I could feel the primal energy of life course through me, and the sorrow of feminine pain carried away by the gusting winds.

After a long journey, we arrived at Chavin. We drank Grandfather Medicine and went to the Temple and sat by the river. I sat on a tree stump and noticed life pushing itself through the dead wood. Life would find a way. The water flowed in a beautiful river next to us, and the medicine flowed through our blood.

We walked up to the temple and entered the labyrinth of Chavin. Deep inside the labyrinth, Dolphin Shamaness and I had a spiritual connection that manifested a spirit baby. A baby girl. Pure and perfect. We connected at the Lanzon – full of energy.


That evening, in Mars‘ workshop, as I sat on the floor and listened to Peruvian flute music waft through the air, Chavin’s spirit hovered above my right shoulder. I felt the spirit baby’s presence as she beamed at me with love. I feel sadness. I tell the baby,

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I can bring you into this world, in this lifetime.”

I close my eyes, press my face into my palms and I feel incredible sadness wash over me. Regret. Longing. Love. I feel gentle hands press into my shoulders and receive a tender massage. I know it is Dolphin Shamaness. I feel her love flow through me as she comforts me. I look up and she gently kisses me on the lips.

Axis Mundi – Heaven’s Gate

I carried a light blue stone on the Pilgrimage, and when we arrived at Heaven’s Gate, during a Pachamama Ceremony, I offered the spirit baby totem to Pachamama. The message from the Universe that day was,

“Do not mourn the paths not taken.”

I let go of the expectation of result and returned to the real world. Life continued, and I still don’t fully understand the significance of the Spirit Baby. Chavin.

The Real World

A few days ago, I reconnected with the Dolphin Shamaness. I hadn’t intended to, but the Universe led me back to her. We went paddle boarding on the silky ocean waves and caught a glimpse of a shark.

When Shark circles in as your spirit animal it’s time to shut out fear and go for what you want.

We spent the rest of the day reconnecting, sharing stories since the Pilgrimage. Love and Loss. Adventures and Journeys. It was a leisurely day, overlooking the ocean. She prepared beautiful food. Homemade kimchi. Nourishing salad. We sipped Exotic Dream Jun Elixir and smoked Mapacho. It was a beautiful day. We had deep conversations about Blockchain, decentralization, regenerative farming, and saving the world.

Dolphin Shamaness was so giving and nurturing. She prepared bone marrow topped with herbs on sprouted sourdough. She was meticulous and I could feel her desire to make it perfect for me. I felt so blessed.

During the course of our conversations, one sentence rang out,

“I find myself always putting other people’s happiness ahead of my own needs.”

At the end of the evening, we laid comfortably on the couch and gazed into each other’s eyes. I could see a reflection there. Sadness. Longing. Love.

Ultra Spirituality


“Majestic Dolphin Blue Eyes.”

On Sunday, I took my wife to JP Sears’ talk and book signing at Trilogy Sanctuary. It was hilarious, heartfelt and transformative. He channeled deep messages from the Universe. He talked about how creativity lives in all of us, and how it wants to be free. How uncomfortability is the Universe telling us that there is creativity inside of us attempting to break free. How comfort can be a prison of the mind and how sometimes we are so creative, we can convince ourselves we aren’t creative. How sometimes, we need to find the metaphorical cliff that gives us fear and excitement and jump.

It really struck a chord with me. What is the energy in me that is trying to flow free and is stuck in discomfort?

After the talk, we met JP, got some books signed, and took a photo with him. We went for a walk around beautiful La Jolla, and discussed the talk. I dug deep inside myself and looked for where I was uncomfortable. There was definitely some energy with Miss Rabbit. It was almost a psychosis.

My wife and I had a deep conversation where she got triggered and went through many dark states and ended our marriage. She hit rock bottom. The next morning she came to me and said, “So, what do you want to do?” 

I had recently watched to this video about The Victim Control Dynamic and recognized it. My wife wanted me to rescue her. I was in a highly conscious untriggered state, so I just calmly told her that she could decide whatever she wanted to do. This freed her from powerlessness and victimhood. Suddenly, she decided to be responsible for her actions and healed.

I performed a hands on breathing exercised as she wept and purged the shame of judgement from her sisters. She said they were strong and she was a weakling, and I told her,

“Being a workaholic is not being strong. It’s actually be afraid. You’re strong because you are being vulnerable.”

I have a saying:

“A woman’s worst enemy is her best friend. A man’s worst enemy is himself.”

I keep seeing the same pattern where women in my life feel so judged by their sisters, girlfriends, peers. It is a dark energy.


When I went did the God Molecule ceremony at Casa Sasquatch and stayed in Room 9 with Miss Rabbit, it connected me to her in a feverish Potion #9 style love psychosis.

During ceremony, I remember seeing a LOST style smoke monster in the other world. It was a dark energy that seemed to tell me there would be trials. These were my own demons of expectation, jealousy and control.


Monday morning, I truly let go of expectations from Miss Rabbit. It was an energetic purge, Shawshank Redemption style. I simply surrendered to the smoke monster and it dissipated. Freedom.


The monster inside was released.

I went over to visit Miss Rabbit, and she could feel the difference in energy. We had a deep connection of lifelong friendship. Unconditional love.

Today, she sent me this message,

“Thank you! You really have been a blessing in the best of ways. I honor that good vibration between us. Both good, kind hearted, conscious and warm human beings. A friendship to last a lifetime.”

My wife has healed, my friendship with Miss Rabbit is blossoming, and the future is bright. To infinity and beyond!



Spaceship Earth

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. And I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” – Benjamin Button

Three years ago, I was in Bali, and had my first experience with psychedelics. I ate two bags of psilocybin mushrooms on the beach in Nusa Dua and my heart opened. That night, I took a bubble bath that unveiled the layers of the universe to the windows of my perception. I telepathically communicated with a gecko.

“Gecko! Speak to me!”

“You suck at speaking to animals. You need to go do Ayahuasca.”


Two years ago, I went to Peru to find myself. I partook in a series of Ayahuasca ceremonies to find inspiration for the next chapter of my life. I already had a successful 23-year career in video games, my childhood dream job, and it was time for a change.

Mother Ayahuasca gave me a clear message,

“Open your wife’s heart. Mother Earth misses her.”

I asked Mother Ayahuasca many questions. Invariably, the answer would simply be, “Love.” So obvious. So simple. So profound. Yet, so hard to practice.

I traveled all over the world, into other dimensions, explored other perspectives, deepened my perception, and healed. I experimented with every modality of raising consciousness I could find and devoured them all. I communed with the spirits of Ayahuasca, Huachuma, Bobinsana, Vilca, Singado, and Psilocybin. I experimented with synthetics, MDMA and LSD, which didn’t resonate as much for me, though they were positive experiences. I conducted my own personal mapacho and cannabis ceremonies – on my own, and with loved ones. I kept seeking. Learning.

I also dove into the deep end of yoga and meditation, doing a yoga teacher training in Costa Rica, and practicing various forms of meditation and pranayama. I explored the world of personal development with PSI Seminars and the Kwik Learning Conference.

Finally, this year, I met God. I became one with the universe twice this year. 5MEO-DMT. The God Molecule. The most profound experience imaginable.

My intentions:

Surrender. Unconditional Love. Love and Abundance.

This energy has been seared into my soul. I have a constant connection to Source now. I wake up flowing with prana, filled with love, and my presence in the NOW is stronger than ever in my life.

Abundance is flowing. I am surrounded by love. So much love. Community.

Last week, my oldest daughter experienced her first true heartbreak. Her high school sweetheart broke up with her. She is so sad. Crying and asking herself why. For the first few days, she just wanted to be left alone to cry in her room, so we let her.

Last night, I was watching Silicon Valley in my office, and she came in.

I comforted her.

“There is no why. He is an 18 year old boy, about to move to New York by himself. You both are too young.

It’s ok to feel sad. Feel it as deeply as you can. This is life. This is love.

You will love again. Don’t let this make you be afraid to love.”

She cried. I continued to comfort her, placing my hand gently on her shoulder and rubbed her back.

“Mom and I love you, and we’ll always be here for you. Mom has healed. I had to go heal myself, so that she could heal herself too. Our family is healed. Be happy for that.

We are so proud of you.”

She shakes her head.

“We are so proud. We love you so much.”

She continues to cry. I can feel her doubt and feelings of low self-worth. I pour love into her and let her release her energy. Surrender. She asks if she can just lay in my office as I finish my show, and I let her rest.

That night, I have a profound realization.

My divine purpose: To heal myself so that I can hold the space for those around me to heal. The universe led me to heal myself by giving me an assignment to heal my wife. Divine purpose coursed through my being, like an electrical current of love.

As my shaman whispered in my ear two years ago during a Huachuma ceremony deep in the jungle, right before I snorted liquid fire (Singado) up my nostrils.

“Remember. It’s about unconditional, universal Love.

Surrender. You’re so good at it.”

Love. So obvious. So simple. So profound. So easy… If we let everything go. Surrender.

When that seems hard, I remember the words of the wise man, Joe Rogan:

“If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”


Life is fucking amazing.

Yoda Moments

“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” -Yoda

Lately, I’ve been having these Yoda Moments.


“If your soul / higher self / (whatever you want to call it) had a message for you, what do you think ‘it’ would say?”

Conversation with daughter:

“You’re triggered.”
“I know I’m triggered!”
“I can’t, I’m triggered.”
“You should meditate.”

Conversation with Miss Rabbit:

“Green. You aren’t seeing what I’m seeing here. I wish you could see through my eyes. This…” (overwhelmed with joy)
“I do.”

Shit, I kinda feel like a walking Jason Silva video.
It definitely feels like I’ve cleared away so much traumatic energy that my soul is clean.
As we experience trauma in our life, the energetic signature of the event lives in our nervous system like a fractal energy virus. It has demonic hooks and can take us over when triggered. Learning to master our responses and discerning whether we are acting from a present state or a triggered state is the practice of life.
Watched Wonder Woman today in IMAX 3D with my son.
“It’s not about deserve.
It’s about what you believe.
And I believe in love.
Only love can save the world.”


Life is a series of windows.

As we surf through this universe, we cannot fully bend reality to our will, but we can surf to different dimensions. Every once in a while, a sliding window opens. There is a brief moment of time, when we can feel a sense that a portal has opened to another dimension… A place of magic and possibility. It can be triggered by meeting a new exciting person… A mystical experience… A transcendent idea.

When this happens, so often, we get scared. It’s the unknown… We need to surrender to it. “What if…”, “How?”, “But.”, “I can’t…” Resistance appears. Sometimes we don’t leap through the window. That’s ok. It wasn’t meant to be. We can enjoy the echo of possibilities from that dimension in our dreams and imagination.

“What a beautiful, beautiful thing to be able to dream when you’re not asleep.”

The more we dream, the better we get at it.

“On the periphery, just outside. There’s always a window. But people are frightened to look through it. It’s safer in the prison cell.”

Someday, a window to magic will open and it will be time to leap.

Which Infinity?

From Concepts of Modern Mathematics by Ian Stewart:

Gödel proved two things:

(i) If axiomatic set theory is consistent, there exists theorems which can neither be proved nor disproved.
(ii) There is no constructive procedure which will prove axiomatic set theory to be consistent.

The first result shows that problems are not always soluble, even in principle; the second wrecks Hilbert’s programme for proving consistency. It is said that when Hilbert heard of Gödel’s work he was ‘very angry’.

We begin with a simple question: how many arithmetical formulae are there?

Obviously, there are infinitely many. But bearing in mind Chapter 9, we ask: which infinity? Countable or uncountable?

The idea of Infinity has always been interesting to me? Are we living in an infinite multi-verse? Does each thought, action, and decision we make traverse us across a different dimension where a different reality exists?

Fascinating concept. I’ve also thought a lot lately about the nature of reality. The crazy thing about humans is how crazy we can be. We can believe in all sorts of stuff. I spent the past weekend with some old friends, Richie Samchon and the Alaskan Ninja. We used to work together and it had been years since the three of us had spent any quality time together. We just had a chill weekend on Catalina Island, where we caught up on our experiences over the past few years, life in general, philosophy…. and… The Flat Earth Theory. ?!? Richie actually believes that the Earth is flat. He wasn’t trolling us. Along with Shaq, Kyrie Irving, B.o.B., and Tila Tequila, our dear friend is a Flat Earther.


“Just look at the UN Map. That’s it.”

Once we were sure he wasn’t just goofing around and was dead serious, the Ninja and I were shocked. Richie believed that the entire space program – NASA, Space X, the Chinese, the Europeans, the International Space Station – is all a hoax, and that the stars and planets are discs, floating up above the Earth, which is also a disc, surrounded by a wall of ice called Antarctica… and that the South Pole is actually an invisible boundary, that the government is lying to us about. How could our college educated, highly successful corporate executive believe this … craziness?

Last night, I heard the term “crushing certainty” in the HBO documentary Going Clear. That’s how they described their religion, and that’s how I would describe Richie’s conviction in his world view.


“What I take away from it is that we lock up a portion of our own mind. We willingly put cuffs on. We willingly avoid things that would… could… cause us pain if we looked. If we can just believe something, then we don’t really have to think for ourselves, do we?”

-Paul Haggis in Going Clear (Active member of the Church of Scientology 1974-2009)

According to their own website,

The word Scientology, conceived by L. Ron Hubbard, comes from the Latin scio which means “knowing, in the fullest meaning of the word” and the Greek word logos which means “study of.” It means knowing how to know. Scientology is further defined as “the study and handling of the spirit in relationship to itself, universes and other life.”


Scientology comprises a body of knowledge which extends from certain fundamental truths. Prime among these are:

  Man is an immortal spiritual being.

  His experience extends well beyond a single lifetime.

  His capabilities are unlimited, even if not presently realized.

Scientology further holds Man to be basically good, and that his spiritual salvation depends upon himself, his fellows and his attainment of brotherhood with the universe.

Those “fundamental truths” are fairly universal among most spiritual belief systems. This spirit energy is universal, infinite, and permeates all living beings and reality. God, The Universe, Qi, Prana, Grandfather Sky,… the Force all exist as the mystical energy field that flows through all of us and makes reality happen. Of course, the HBO documentary paints a terrifying image of the abuse that can come with the power of harnessing the collective energy of people through a belief system. That is human nature, after all. It is our superpower, and it is our kryptonite. The ability to believe in fiction.


This is the core of Yuval Harari’s book Sapiens. From this Guardian article:

At the centre of the book is the contention that what made Homo sapiens the most successful human being, supplanting rivals such as Neanderthals, was our ability to believe in shared fictions. Religions, nations and money, Harari argues, are all human fictions that have enabled collaboration and organisation on a massive scale.

Humans crave meaning and purpose… and we all want to believe that we are the good guys. In Richie (and perhaps some of the other Flat Earthers), it seems to come from an inherent distrust of government. He sees the government as evil and that only truth warriors like himself see it for how it is. In other words, lying to us, covering up Fukushima, orchestrating 9/11, faking the moon landing. They’re all in on it, and only heroes such as Richie who can see through the lies can see the truth and defend justice. On some level, there is a thread in each of our consciousness that is running the Hero’s Journey.

As far as Richie is concerned, on his conscious level, he is just living his Hero’s Journey, seeing truth and fighting evil. Subconsciously, there is clearly some trust issue where he is fearful of the government, and this fear and distrust is distorting his view of reality. Sound familiar?


Distorted reality. The Donald reflects our world and our society. It feels as though the standard defense mechanism for ridicule is to take whatever shame that others throw and wear it as a badge of honor. Instead the comeback “I know you are, but what am I?” from my childhood, it has become, “I know I am, and so what.” We now have Nasty Woman as a feminist viral meme, and the rise of clown consciousness.

King Donald is a reflection of this consciousness. The more people make fun of him, the more he embraces it, and just makes shit up to defend his clownish persona. He has a giant shield of clown armor to defend his ego from the truth, which is that he inherited his wealth, and has a track record of bad behavior and unscrupulous business practices. The clown armor allows him to just continue to behave poorly, sneer at his naysayers, and become the fucking POTUS.


We have a Juggalo movement that is defending the feeling of being marginalized with this clown consciousness. Cracked writes about Trump Juggalos, the “uneducated, poor, or working-class white voters who swept Trump into office in blatant defiance of God’s will and their own economic self-interest.”

As I write this blog post, even I begin to question reality. We have a Clown President, the Kardashians are the most famous people on the planet, Tila Tequila is a Nazi, and the Internet exists. I imagine going back to the 1980s and attempting to explain 2017 to my teenage self. No wonder people can believe the Earth is flat. Reality itself doesn’t seem real.

My call to action is to purge shame, not embrace it. There is no excuse not to educate ourselves, find courage in fear, and do our part in raising the collective consciousness of humanity.

Jason Silva is discussing another book I read recently – Stealing Fire.


These states of Ecstasis, transcendence, connection with the Universe are the fire that fuels humanity. Tapping into these states is how we manifest our reality. I’ve personally experienced Ecstasis from various entheogens, yoga, meditation, and personal growth work. Tapping into these states, we can achieve what we put our minds and souls to, and by believing in the right fictions… in our own Hero’s Journeys, we can accomplish purpose and meaning, and find joy.

Ecstasis is a state of mind that we are in such a state of flow that there is nothing else. The fear doesn’t get suppressed, rather it gets channeled into the fire of life energy. This is the space that we do get to bend reality. Mike Tyson’s coach Cus has the best quote on this topic that I know:


My personal experiences of growth include multiple trips to Peru to partake in shamanic entheogenic journeys, yoga, breathwork, meditation, Vedic chanting, retreats with PSI Seminars, and my most powerful journey, an experience with the God Molecule, 5MEO-DMT.


Many of the states of consciousness feel like a state of pure Love – beyond pleasure, beyond bliss, beyond existence. These transcendent states have guided me to believe in my own fiction, that I am on the right path, and that I can change the world. Isn’t that what our lives are supposed to be about?

At the end of the weekend, I told Richie,

“You’re crazy. Maybe in your reality the world is flat, but it isn’t in mine. That’s ok. I still love you brother.”

Maybe Richie has traversed so many dimensions to a different reality that in his existence, the world is undeniably flat. Maybe when we meet, it is just a convergence of consciousness and we are experiencing a fractal reality through our own lens of perception and through the mysteries of quantum physics, we are both observing a form of truth in our own infinite realities…

Which Infinity? Love.