Ultra Spiritual Dolphin Magic

Pilgrimage to Chavin

A couple years ago, I was on a Pilgrimage to Chavin. I met the Dolphin Shamaness, a beautiful spirit. On the first night we met, she told a story from the week before when she went kayaking on the ocean. A pod of dolphins approached her, signaled her to follow, and led her to save the life of a naked woman who was stranded out in the middle of the ocean. Magic.

We had a deep connection through Huachuma and shared a journey across Peru with a beautiful soul tribe led by our Shaman, The Jaguar. The Jaguar’s assistant Shaman, Mars was our local guide.

With our soul tribe, we had a ceremony at Batan Grande where I stood atop the pyramid and watched the Face of God appear as the sun set. We had another at El Brujo, where I could feel the primal energy of life course through me, and the sorrow of feminine pain carried away by the gusting winds.

After a long journey, we arrived at Chavin. We drank Grandfather Medicine and went to the Temple and sat by the river. I sat on a tree stump and noticed life pushing itself through the dead wood. Life would find a way. The water flowed in a beautiful river next to us, and the medicine flowed through our blood.

We walked up to the temple and entered the labyrinth of Chavin. Deep inside the labyrinth, Dolphin Shamaness and I had a spiritual connection that manifested a spirit baby. A baby girl. Pure and perfect. We connected at the Lanzon – full of energy.


That evening, in Mars‘ workshop, as I sat on the floor and listened to Peruvian flute music waft through the air, Chavin’s spirit hovered above my right shoulder. I felt the spirit baby’s presence as she beamed at me with love. I feel sadness. I tell the baby,

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I can bring you into this world, in this lifetime.”

I close my eyes, press my face into my palms and I feel incredible sadness wash over me. Regret. Longing. Love. I feel gentle hands press into my shoulders and receive a tender massage. I know it is Dolphin Shamaness. I feel her love flow through me as she comforts me. I look up and she gently kisses me on the lips.

Axis Mundi – Heaven’s Gate

I carried a light blue stone on the Pilgrimage, and when we arrived at Heaven’s Gate, during a Pachamama Ceremony, I offered the spirit baby totem to Pachamama. The message from the Universe that day was,

“Do not mourn the paths not taken.”

I let go of the expectation of result and returned to the real world. Life continued, and I still don’t fully understand the significance of the Spirit Baby. Chavin.

The Real World

A few days ago, I reconnected with the Dolphin Shamaness. I hadn’t intended to, but the Universe led me back to her. We went paddle boarding on the silky ocean waves and caught a glimpse of a shark.

When Shark circles in as your spirit animal it’s time to shut out fear and go for what you want.

We spent the rest of the day reconnecting, sharing stories since the Pilgrimage. Love and Loss. Adventures and Journeys. It was a leisurely day, overlooking the ocean. She prepared beautiful food. Homemade kimchi. Nourishing salad. We sipped Exotic Dream Jun Elixir and smoked Mapacho. It was a beautiful day. We had deep conversations about Blockchain, decentralization, regenerative farming, and saving the world.

Dolphin Shamaness was so giving and nurturing. She prepared bone marrow topped with herbs on sprouted sourdough. She was meticulous and I could feel her desire to make it perfect for me. I felt so blessed.

During the course of our conversations, one sentence rang out,

“I find myself always putting other people’s happiness ahead of my own needs.”

At the end of the evening, we laid comfortably on the couch and gazed into each other’s eyes. I could see a reflection there. Sadness. Longing. Love.

Ultra Spirituality


“Majestic Dolphin Blue Eyes.”

On Sunday, I took my wife to JP Sears’ talk and book signing at Trilogy Sanctuary. It was hilarious, heartfelt and transformative. He channeled deep messages from the Universe. He talked about how creativity lives in all of us, and how it wants to be free. How uncomfortability is the Universe telling us that there is creativity inside of us attempting to break free. How comfort can be a prison of the mind and how sometimes we are so creative, we can convince ourselves we aren’t creative. How sometimes, we need to find the metaphorical cliff that gives us fear and excitement and jump.

It really struck a chord with me. What is the energy in me that is trying to flow free and is stuck in discomfort?

After the talk, we met JP, got some books signed, and took a photo with him. We went for a walk around beautiful La Jolla, and discussed the talk. I dug deep inside myself and looked for where I was uncomfortable. There was definitely some energy with Miss Rabbit. It was almost a psychosis.

My wife and I had a deep conversation where she got triggered and went through many dark states and ended our marriage. She hit rock bottom. The next morning she came to me and said, “So, what do you want to do?” 

I had recently watched to this video about The Victim Control Dynamic and recognized it. My wife wanted me to rescue her. I was in a highly conscious untriggered state, so I just calmly told her that she could decide whatever she wanted to do. This freed her from powerlessness and victimhood. Suddenly, she decided to be responsible for her actions and healed.

I performed a hands on breathing exercised as she wept and purged the shame of judgement from her sisters. She said they were strong and she was a weakling, and I told her,

“Being a workaholic is not being strong. It’s actually be afraid. You’re strong because you are being vulnerable.”

I have a saying:

“A woman’s worst enemy is her best friend. A man’s worst enemy is himself.”

I keep seeing the same pattern where women in my life feel so judged by their sisters, girlfriends, peers. It is a dark energy.


When I went did the God Molecule ceremony at Casa Sasquatch and stayed in Room 9 with Miss Rabbit, it connected me to her in a feverish Potion #9 style love psychosis.

During ceremony, I remember seeing a LOST style smoke monster in the other world. It was a dark energy that seemed to tell me there would be trials. These were my own demons of expectation, jealousy and control.


Monday morning, I truly let go of expectations from Miss Rabbit. It was an energetic purge, Shawshank Redemption style. I simply surrendered to the smoke monster and it dissipated. Freedom.


The monster inside was released.

I went over to visit Miss Rabbit, and she could feel the difference in energy. We had a deep connection of lifelong friendship. Unconditional love.

Today, she sent me this message,

“Thank you! You really have been a blessing in the best of ways. I honor that good vibration between us. Both good, kind hearted, conscious and warm human beings. A friendship to last a lifetime.”

My wife has healed, my friendship with Miss Rabbit is blossoming, and the future is bright. To infinity and beyond!



Spaceship Earth

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. And I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” – Benjamin Button

Three years ago, I was in Bali, and had my first experience with psychedelics. I ate two bags of psilocybin mushrooms on the beach in Nusa Dua and my heart opened. That night, I took a bubble bath that unveiled the layers of the universe to the windows of my perception. I telepathically communicated with a gecko.

“Gecko! Speak to me!”

“You suck at speaking to animals. You need to go do Ayahuasca.”


Two years ago, I went to Peru to find myself. I partook in a series of Ayahuasca ceremonies to find inspiration for the next chapter of my life. I already had a successful 23-year career in video games, my childhood dream job, and it was time for a change.

Mother Ayahuasca gave me a clear message,

“Open your wife’s heart. Mother Earth misses her.”

I asked Mother Ayahuasca many questions. Invariably, the answer would simply be, “Love.” So obvious. So simple. So profound. Yet, so hard to practice.

I traveled all over the world, into other dimensions, explored other perspectives, deepened my perception, and healed. I experimented with every modality of raising consciousness I could find and devoured them all. I communed with the spirits of Ayahuasca, Huachuma, Bobinsana, Vilca, Singado, and Psilocybin. I experimented with synthetics, MDMA and LSD, which didn’t resonate as much for me, though they were positive experiences. I conducted my own personal mapacho and cannabis ceremonies – on my own, and with loved ones. I kept seeking. Learning.

I also dove into the deep end of yoga and meditation, doing a yoga teacher training in Costa Rica, and practicing various forms of meditation and pranayama. I explored the world of personal development with PSI Seminars and the Kwik Learning Conference.

Finally, this year, I met God. I became one with the universe twice this year. 5MEO-DMT. The God Molecule. The most profound experience imaginable.

My intentions:

Surrender. Unconditional Love. Love and Abundance.

This energy has been seared into my soul. I have a constant connection to Source now. I wake up flowing with prana, filled with love, and my presence in the NOW is stronger than ever in my life.

Abundance is flowing. I am surrounded by love. So much love. Community.

Last week, my oldest daughter experienced her first true heartbreak. Her high school sweetheart broke up with her. She is so sad. Crying and asking herself why. For the first few days, she just wanted to be left alone to cry in her room, so we let her.

Last night, I was watching Silicon Valley in my office, and she came in.

I comforted her.

“There is no why. He is an 18 year old boy, about to move to New York by himself. You both are too young.

It’s ok to feel sad. Feel it as deeply as you can. This is life. This is love.

You will love again. Don’t let this make you be afraid to love.”

She cried. I continued to comfort her, placing my hand gently on her shoulder and rubbed her back.

“Mom and I love you, and we’ll always be here for you. Mom has healed. I had to go heal myself, so that she could heal herself too. Our family is healed. Be happy for that.

We are so proud of you.”

She shakes her head.

“We are so proud. We love you so much.”

She continues to cry. I can feel her doubt and feelings of low self-worth. I pour love into her and let her release her energy. Surrender. She asks if she can just lay in my office as I finish my show, and I let her rest.

That night, I have a profound realization.

My divine purpose: To heal myself so that I can hold the space for those around me to heal. The universe led me to heal myself by giving me an assignment to heal my wife. Divine purpose coursed through my being, like an electrical current of love.

As my shaman whispered in my ear two years ago during a Huachuma ceremony deep in the jungle, right before I snorted liquid fire (Singado) up my nostrils.

“Remember. It’s about unconditional, universal Love.

Surrender. You’re so good at it.”

Love. So obvious. So simple. So profound. So easy… If we let everything go. Surrender.

When that seems hard, I remember the words of the wise man, Joe Rogan:

“If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”


Life is fucking amazing.


Life is a series of windows.

As we surf through this universe, we cannot fully bend reality to our will, but we can surf to different dimensions. Every once in a while, a sliding window opens. There is a brief moment of time, when we can feel a sense that a portal has opened to another dimension… A place of magic and possibility. It can be triggered by meeting a new exciting person… A mystical experience… A transcendent idea.

When this happens, so often, we get scared. It’s the unknown… We need to surrender to it. “What if…”, “How?”, “But.”, “I can’t…” Resistance appears. Sometimes we don’t leap through the window. That’s ok. It wasn’t meant to be. We can enjoy the echo of possibilities from that dimension in our dreams and imagination.

“What a beautiful, beautiful thing to be able to dream when you’re not asleep.”

The more we dream, the better we get at it.

“On the periphery, just outside. There’s always a window. But people are frightened to look through it. It’s safer in the prison cell.”

Someday, a window to magic will open and it will be time to leap.

Unbreaking the Internet

For the past few years, I’ve been thinking about the Internet as reflection of humanity and the collective consciousness. It has become ubiquitous, and in some ways, it has a life of its own; algorithms that symbiotically evolve with our collective browsing and clicking habits.

Quick and Dirty Market Survey

eMarketer has great public charts and data, and I did some quick research.

  • US paid media ad spending will grow steadily in 2017 to $206 billion.
  • US digital ad spending will grow from $73 billion in 2016 to $83 billion in 2017 with a growth forecast to $129.23 billion in 2021.
  • Digital ad spending is growing in market share and mobile the main driver of growth.


  • Native display ads are expected to account for more than half of all US digital display media ad spending in 2017.
  • Advertisers will spend $22.09 billion on native display ads in 2017 alone.
  • Social advertising (Facebook, Twitter, Snap, etc.) will account for 84.2% of total US native display ad dollars in 2017. However, this share is slowly declining, as non-social applications introduce native advertising.
  • Google and Facebook dominate US mobile ads, capturing 54% in 2016, and a projected 57% market share in 2017.


  • Globally, Google and Facebook are projected to capture $72.69 billion and $33.76 billion, respectively, bringing the two ad techs’ share of the digital ad market to 46.4% worldwide in 2017.
  • Snapchat is poised for “explosive growth”, projected by eMarketer to grow 157.8% to $770 million in the US in 2017.



The Lumascape

To get an idea of what the digital ad ecosystem looks like, here are two sample LUMAscapes



This LinkedIn post by Mike Goldberg does a great job covering the basics of the different components in the programmatic ecosystem.


The digital ad ecosystem is complex, with lots of different different companies, often serving multiple roles in the ecosystem, making things complex and often opaque.

  • Advertiser/Marketer – has a product to sell. May work with agencies for media planning, buying, and possibly creative.
  • Ad Networks – online ad service provider with various sources of inventory. (such as Google, Yahoo.)
  • Ad Servers – deliver digital ads to websites/apps.
  • Trading Desks – trading service that utilizes real-time-bidding (RTB), enhanced with data.
  • DSPs – Demand-Side Platforms – Tools to purchase millions of targeted ad impressions.
  • DMPs – Data Management Platforms –  Tools to manage and analyze vast amounts of data generated by the ecosystem.
  • Ad Exchanges – online auction marketplaces for buying and selling of inventory across multiple ad networks.
  • SSPs – Supply-Side Platforms – Tools to maximize ad revenues selling inventory on ad exchanges and ad networks.
  • Publishers – Owners of inventory. (Large media companies, blogs, apps, etc.)

Eric Picard put together a great chart that shows the Advertising Ecosystem Impression/Dollar Flow in an older 2012 article.ecosystem-flow

The Fraud Elephant


Now that we have a sense of the complex ecosystem, it’s time to discuss the elephant in the room. The digital advertising ecosystem is infested with fraud. Dr. Augustine Fou’s presentation summarizes the problem well.

From this Harvard Business Review article, Dr. Augustine Fou states:

“It’s very difficult to get anyone to pay attention to this problem. Everyone has something to gain from the fake traffic.”

This is such a well known problem, it makes an appearance in HBO’s Silicon Valley.

There was an October 2015 Distil Networks report that estimated ad fraud to cost the industry about $18.5 billion annually, and that for every $3 spent in digital advertising, $1 is going to ad fraud.

According to WhiteOps, an anti-ad fraud security firm: In late 2016, a group of Russian hackers created a botnet called “Methbot” that siphons $3 million to $5 million in fraudulent revenue per day. Now, Dr. Fou is a ad fraud consultant, and both Distil and WhiteOps are anti-ad fraud security firms, so it is in their interest to estimate high levels of ad fraud.

Regardless, the ecosystem is broken and the problem is real.

Pirate and porn sites infested with malware are ready to capture your computer and turn it into a slave on a massive botnet that is the then used to click fraudulent ads some of which are also served on those same sites along with other fake sites. These fraudulent clicks feed into programmatic real-time bidding ad exchanges, trading desks, DSPs, and SSPs. The botnets are so powerful that they are slowly driving third world country click farms out of business by committing fraud more efficiently and effectively than those armies of slave wage workers.

Meanwhile the DMPs are dedicating massive brainpower and resources to sell services to fight the fraud and also optimize links to maximize click-through and revenue. There are companies such as Taboola, Outbrain, Revcontent, and Zergnet serving viral ads all over the web. There’s a simple reason.

Depending on the size of the outlet and the amount of traffic they can generate, a contract with Outbrain or Taboola—the two largest providers of such links—can mean millions of dollars in guaranteed annual income. And if your print advertising is declining 30% in a single quarter, that sounds great.

A Closer Look


I decided to take a look at some Outbrain ads.

Outbrain served me the following Sponsored Content as I was browsing Business Insider while researching this post, shown on the right. The content has clearly been tuned to appeal to our human psychology by showing us attractive women and curiosity inducing link titles. Clickbait.

  1. Truthfinder – This led to a fake “The Beacon” magazine article with the title: I Typed in My Name and the Results Had Me Speechless. The website itself is a public records search business, and as I looked around for reviews, I found this review site with 143 reviews – two positive and 141 negative, with many complaints of fraudulent credit card charges and selling of their email address to spammers.
  2. The Modern Man Today – This led to another fake article titled The Skin Tightener Every Man Should Know About, telling a story of discovering this miracle product, and web design that implies magazine coverage from GQ, Variety, subtly implying that Matt Damon and Robert Downey Jr. use the product. In reality, almost every single link, from the menus to the magazine covers leads to a landing page for a product called LifeCell. There are what appears to be fake Facebook reviews (some of the users seem fake, and others … were they hacked?) and are even disclaimers at the bottom of the page that essentially confess to the page being an advertisement and fake article and the “celebrity endorsements” are justified because the celebrities attended an event where they accepted a goodie bag with the product.
  3. Business Insider – This was interesting. Business Insider bought an ad that was served through Outbrain on their own page? Curious. The article is a glowing review of an $89 sweatshirt made by American Giant with the title This hoodie is so insanely popular you have to wait months to get it. At the end of the article there is also a link to another article titled We tested what might be one of the best hoodies out there. Hey, I love hoodies too, so sure why not… At the top of their article:The Insider Picks team writes about stuff we think you’ll like. Business Insider has affiliate partnerships so we may get a share of the revenue from your purchase.Ok, I don’t have too much of a problem with this – they like hoodies, I like hoodies, if I buy a hoodie, and they get an affiliate referral fee, sure.So, what’s up with the American Giant article? Where’s the affiliate fee? I dig a little further, and find that this Business Insider article is actually part of a marketing campaign done by Launch Squad. It was a placed article to promote the brand, with traffic spread by Outbrain onto sites such as Business Insider to generate “Thought Leadership.”

We partnered with American Giant prior to their launch in February 2012. We set out to develop a cult following of the brand through creative campaigns and social marketing. In December, 2012, American Giant was cited as creating the “best hoodie in the world” by Slate, which led to unchartered success for the young company.

We focused on the value of American manufacturing from the CEO’s perspective, and placed contributed articles in Forbes, Fast Company, Business Insider, and others.

These three case studies in current day digital marketing give a pretty good survey of a few different types of digital advertising. Fraudulent? Maybe, they aren’t technically “illegal fraud”, but the practices definitely feel deceptive and purely profit driven.

Much of the ad tech industry finds themselves in a parasitic relationship with ad fraud, either making a living fighting it, or accepting the “necessary evil” of having fraudulent inventory trading across their platforms as they profit off of it. It reflects a kind of desperation, scraping the monetization scraps left behind by the bigger players in the industry.

The Two Giants

The reality is, the digital ad fraud issue, on some level, doesn’t matter. It’s just noise. It will always be there, but the bottom line is that the digital ad market is currently dominated by a two giants.


The two giants consume over $100 billion and 46.4% of the market, and they are ravenously chomping away at market share.

Based on the IAB’s numbers and public financial numbers from Google and Facebook, the two digital giants accounted for about 99% of the $2.9 billion in advertising growth in the third quarter—with Google making up about 54% of the total and Facebook about 45%, leaving just 1% for everyone else.

The Cool Kids

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my 13 year old daughter and asking her about her generation’s mobile online behavior.


What apps do you use?

“Mostly Snapchat and Instagram.”

How about Facebook?

“Sometimes we just use it to login to apps. Besides that, we don’t really use it.”

Do you mostly watch Youtube or do you use Vimeo too?

“Vimeo? Eww.”

Why Eww?

“I dunno, we just like Youtube. They force us to use Vimeo at school sometimes.”

What websites do you visit?

“Websites? I don’t visit websites. We get our news from Snapchat. It could all be fake, and we wouldn’t know.”

Gary Vaynerchuk has a good writeup, The Snap Generation: A guide to Snapchat’s history. The Snap Generation (beyond Millennials?) has been raised not just on the Internet, but on smartphones as well. Many of them have spent their conscious lives constantly connected online to their friends.

The Snap Generation values their privacy and consumes social media like little digital snacks, creating a real-time mental multidimensional map of their social and virtual connections instantly in their heads. They are accustomed to instant gratification from Google, Wikipedia, music streaming, and Amazon Prime. They learn how do do anything from Youtube. They play video games, and like to watch others play video games on streaming channels and Youtube. They leave an ephemeral digital exhaust trail that is characteristically different from the previous generations. It’ll be interesting to see how this generation evolves as the reach adulthood.

Break the Internet


So, is the Internet broken? Not really, it is just a reflection of human behaviors with machine learning algorithms optimized to maximize monetization of ad traffic on the Internet. The links that work are links that our human collective are responsive to, and computers are really good at figuring it out. Every time Kim Kardasian releases a naked selfie, it spreads all over the Internet, because we are addicted to controversy, and her ego is addicted to attention. A woman with almost 100 million followers on Instagram needed to do an attention seeking photo shoot because she needed it to feel empowered and confident? What an interesting reflection of the human ego.


Data scientists and machine learning algorithms are extremely powerful at figuring out what makes us click. This is not good or evil – it is a tool that can be used to subconsciously change our behavior. It turns out that as humans, we all have an inherent need to connect and share stories. Technology has evolved in order to enhance this ability, just at a scale that we could have never imagined.

Mind Control


Elon Musk considers artificial intelligence the greatest existential threat to humanity.

“With artificial intelligence, we are summoning the demon. You know all those stories where there’s the guy with the pentagram and the holy water and … he’s sure he can control the demon. It doesn’t work out.”

A.I. is already here, and is subtly modifying the collective psyche of our species, tailoring our experiences online through the forces of ad monetization, psychographics, and digital exhaust trail analysis applied to a human connection, validation, and impact loop. The human race is a race of storytellers, and on a meta level, the Internet is simply an accelerated real-time digital micro-story exchange.

Cambridge Analytica, a data science firm is in the news these days for getting paid millions of dollars by President Trump’s campaign to use psychographics micro-targeting to affect the behavior of voters. Psychographics use the Big Five Model, also known as the OCEAN Model, to psychologically profile people in order to target them better.

  • Openness to experience describes a dimension of personality that distinguishes imaginative, creative people from down-to-earth, conventional people.
  • Conscientiousness concerns the way in which we control, regulate, and direct our impulses.
  • Extraversion is marked by pronounced engagement with the external world, versus being comfortable with your own company.
  • Agreeableness reflects individual differences in concern with cooperation and social harmony.
  • Neuroticism refers to the tendency to experience negative emotions.

Michal Konsinski is a psychologist and data scientist that developed a method to assess a person’s OCEAN personality profile based on their Facebook likes. You can try it here.




Cambridge Analytica is using these (and other) personality profiles to create micro-targeted messages for marketing campaigns.

At Cambridge Analytica we understand that every customer, every cause, and every campaign is unique. That’s why we help you connect with every member of your audience on an individual level in ways that engage, inform and drive them to action.

We bring together 25 years’ experience in behavioral change, pioneering data science, and cutting-edge technology to offer unparalleled audience insight and engagement services and products.

Their CEO, Alexander Nix is seen here describing the process pretty clearly.

Cambridge Analytica is reportedly ramping up its U.S. government business. The U.S. government is hiring a “psychographic, behavioral modification” firm to help with its messaging. Our dystopian future has fully arrived.

In all seriousness, the reality is that computers and the Internet are a modern miracle. The digital age is catapulting humanity forward at an unimaginable rate. We have more access to learning, products, travel, experiences, everything than ever before. In all of the chaos, there is incredible opportunity.

Digital ads have been the fuel of the Internet since the dotcom boom, and aren’t going away anywhere soon. The experience of digital ads is improving, and opportunities to participate in the evolution of human communication and consciousness are more accessible than ever.

What’s next?

Mile High Tripping

Cover Artwork by Alex Andreev

Over the weekend, I made a crazy road trip to Denver, Colorado with Green Lantern. We went to meet the Wizard, who met us from Kansas with his wife, Dorothy, and dog, Toto. It was a long drive, with amazing scenery through Utah. On the way there and back, it looked as though we were driving through an ancient planet with the ruins of giant alien fortresses in the distance.


We arrived late on Friday night, and on Saturday, met the Wizard at his downtown hotel. We had a heavy blaze session with some Durban Poison, Stratos Energy Sativa pills, FlasQ Elixirs and Tinctures. We got to know the Wizard and discussed various types of technology magic for the day. It was quite an amazing time, though there were definitely times of Durban Confusion and a Trial by Fire. [6588]

During the weekend, Green Lantern and I checked out a few of the local 420 businesses in town: the Smoking Gun Apothecary, Mile High Green Cross, and the Wizard’s friend’s glass shop, Positive Vibes. It is amazing to see how many cool products they had, and the booming industry.

Sunday night, our friend Xena, who after attending a personal growth PSI Basic Seminar all weekend, had dinner with us then we all smoked a joint. We all headed back to the room and Xena started really tripping out and talking to herself.

I told Lantern at that point, The Dude Abides Principle from the book E^2 by Pam Grout.


Theory: There is an invisible Energy Force or Field of Infinite Possibilities

The Dude Abides Principle says that if we ask this Force or Field (God, the Universe, Source) for an unexpected gift or blessing in the next 48 hours, that He would abide. I told Lantern, let’s set that intention now (Sunday night).

That night, Xena had a healing session, where she spoke to various aspects of her subconscious, which manifested as multiple personas… At the end of the night, she appeared to merge the various personalities back into herself. It was intense and I held the space throughout the night.


The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Green Lantern and I drove back to Vegas the next morning.

Blue has always been my favorite color, and it resonates even more lately. Green Lantern says:

“You’re a Blue Lantern. Their power is Hope.

The Blue Lanterns are the weakest on their own, however, combined with the Green Lanterns (Willpower), they are the most powerful.”

I realize that I’m the Blue Quantum Shaman, partnered with the Green Quantum Shaman. During the drive, I realized that being Spliff MacGyver is a lifestyle… Green Lantern is also Green Spliff MacGyver, and with Raptorman gone, I no longer had him around to roll spliffs for us and have been mastering the art of rolling as Blue Spliff MacGyver.


After these realizations, we noticed some storm clouds forming. Epic lightning flashed across the sky… It felt like a supernatural storm. Suddenly, it began to hail… hard. Hail rattled the car, and as I drove, I could feel the car sliding on the slick mountain road coated with ice. It felt dangerous, and an intense feeling of flow and focus came over me.

We eventually made it to the Eye of the Storm… As we drove through the Eye, we came across a roadkill carcass on the road. Green Lantern got a good look at it.

“It was a jackrabbit.”

The Rabbit has been a spirit guide for me in the past few years, so I felt it as an uncomfortable omen…


As we drove out of the Eye, back into the storm, the hail increased, and the car began to slide around again. Incline signs appeared, and other cars began to pull over on the side of the road. I drove on, slow and steady, with intense focus to keep us safe.

We eventually pulled out of the storm, and stopped at a Rest Area. Green Lantern looks at me wide eyed.

“Was that the Dude’s Gift? What does it mean?!?!”

It was a message from the universe…

“Don’t Stay in the Eye. Progress happens on the borders of your comfort zone. When you leave the eye and weather the storm, the entire world awaits beyond.”

Since channeling the fire to drive through that storm, I realize that I have the strength to push through the storms in my life, and that same level of flow and focus that I felt when driving through the storm has been the same feeling of courage and energy that I’ve been cultivating through various practices.

Willpower and Hope.

It was a Gift.

Which Infinity?

From Concepts of Modern Mathematics by Ian Stewart:

Gödel proved two things:

(i) If axiomatic set theory is consistent, there exists theorems which can neither be proved nor disproved.
(ii) There is no constructive procedure which will prove axiomatic set theory to be consistent.

The first result shows that problems are not always soluble, even in principle; the second wrecks Hilbert’s programme for proving consistency. It is said that when Hilbert heard of Gödel’s work he was ‘very angry’.

We begin with a simple question: how many arithmetical formulae are there?

Obviously, there are infinitely many. But bearing in mind Chapter 9, we ask: which infinity? Countable or uncountable?

The idea of Infinity has always been interesting to me? Are we living in an infinite multi-verse? Does each thought, action, and decision we make traverse us across a different dimension where a different reality exists?

Fascinating concept. I’ve also thought a lot lately about the nature of reality. The crazy thing about humans is how crazy we can be. We can believe in all sorts of stuff. I spent the past weekend with some old friends, Richie Samchon and the Alaskan Ninja. We used to work together and it had been years since the three of us had spent any quality time together. We just had a chill weekend on Catalina Island, where we caught up on our experiences over the past few years, life in general, philosophy…. and… The Flat Earth Theory. ?!? Richie actually believes that the Earth is flat. He wasn’t trolling us. Along with Shaq, Kyrie Irving, B.o.B., and Tila Tequila, our dear friend is a Flat Earther.


“Just look at the UN Map. That’s it.”

Once we were sure he wasn’t just goofing around and was dead serious, the Ninja and I were shocked. Richie believed that the entire space program – NASA, Space X, the Chinese, the Europeans, the International Space Station – is all a hoax, and that the stars and planets are discs, floating up above the Earth, which is also a disc, surrounded by a wall of ice called Antarctica… and that the South Pole is actually an invisible boundary, that the government is lying to us about. How could our college educated, highly successful corporate executive believe this … craziness?

Last night, I heard the term “crushing certainty” in the HBO documentary Going Clear. That’s how they described their religion, and that’s how I would describe Richie’s conviction in his world view.


“What I take away from it is that we lock up a portion of our own mind. We willingly put cuffs on. We willingly avoid things that would… could… cause us pain if we looked. If we can just believe something, then we don’t really have to think for ourselves, do we?”

-Paul Haggis in Going Clear (Active member of the Church of Scientology 1974-2009)

According to their own website,

The word Scientology, conceived by L. Ron Hubbard, comes from the Latin scio which means “knowing, in the fullest meaning of the word” and the Greek word logos which means “study of.” It means knowing how to know. Scientology is further defined as “the study and handling of the spirit in relationship to itself, universes and other life.”


Scientology comprises a body of knowledge which extends from certain fundamental truths. Prime among these are:

  Man is an immortal spiritual being.

  His experience extends well beyond a single lifetime.

  His capabilities are unlimited, even if not presently realized.

Scientology further holds Man to be basically good, and that his spiritual salvation depends upon himself, his fellows and his attainment of brotherhood with the universe.

Those “fundamental truths” are fairly universal among most spiritual belief systems. This spirit energy is universal, infinite, and permeates all living beings and reality. God, The Universe, Qi, Prana, Grandfather Sky,… the Force all exist as the mystical energy field that flows through all of us and makes reality happen. Of course, the HBO documentary paints a terrifying image of the abuse that can come with the power of harnessing the collective energy of people through a belief system. That is human nature, after all. It is our superpower, and it is our kryptonite. The ability to believe in fiction.


This is the core of Yuval Harari’s book Sapiens. From this Guardian article:

At the centre of the book is the contention that what made Homo sapiens the most successful human being, supplanting rivals such as Neanderthals, was our ability to believe in shared fictions. Religions, nations and money, Harari argues, are all human fictions that have enabled collaboration and organisation on a massive scale.

Humans crave meaning and purpose… and we all want to believe that we are the good guys. In Richie (and perhaps some of the other Flat Earthers), it seems to come from an inherent distrust of government. He sees the government as evil and that only truth warriors like himself see it for how it is. In other words, lying to us, covering up Fukushima, orchestrating 9/11, faking the moon landing. They’re all in on it, and only heroes such as Richie who can see through the lies can see the truth and defend justice. On some level, there is a thread in each of our consciousness that is running the Hero’s Journey.

As far as Richie is concerned, on his conscious level, he is just living his Hero’s Journey, seeing truth and fighting evil. Subconsciously, there is clearly some trust issue where he is fearful of the government, and this fear and distrust is distorting his view of reality. Sound familiar?


Distorted reality. The Donald reflects our world and our society. It feels as though the standard defense mechanism for ridicule is to take whatever shame that others throw and wear it as a badge of honor. Instead the comeback “I know you are, but what am I?” from my childhood, it has become, “I know I am, and so what.” We now have Nasty Woman as a feminist viral meme, and the rise of clown consciousness.

King Donald is a reflection of this consciousness. The more people make fun of him, the more he embraces it, and just makes shit up to defend his clownish persona. He has a giant shield of clown armor to defend his ego from the truth, which is that he inherited his wealth, and has a track record of bad behavior and unscrupulous business practices. The clown armor allows him to just continue to behave poorly, sneer at his naysayers, and become the fucking POTUS.


We have a Juggalo movement that is defending the feeling of being marginalized with this clown consciousness. Cracked writes about Trump Juggalos, the “uneducated, poor, or working-class white voters who swept Trump into office in blatant defiance of God’s will and their own economic self-interest.”

As I write this blog post, even I begin to question reality. We have a Clown President, the Kardashians are the most famous people on the planet, Tila Tequila is a Nazi, and the Internet exists. I imagine going back to the 1980s and attempting to explain 2017 to my teenage self. No wonder people can believe the Earth is flat. Reality itself doesn’t seem real.

My call to action is to purge shame, not embrace it. There is no excuse not to educate ourselves, find courage in fear, and do our part in raising the collective consciousness of humanity.

Jason Silva is discussing another book I read recently – Stealing Fire.


These states of Ecstasis, transcendence, connection with the Universe are the fire that fuels humanity. Tapping into these states is how we manifest our reality. I’ve personally experienced Ecstasis from various entheogens, yoga, meditation, and personal growth work. Tapping into these states, we can achieve what we put our minds and souls to, and by believing in the right fictions… in our own Hero’s Journeys, we can accomplish purpose and meaning, and find joy.

Ecstasis is a state of mind that we are in such a state of flow that there is nothing else. The fear doesn’t get suppressed, rather it gets channeled into the fire of life energy. This is the space that we do get to bend reality. Mike Tyson’s coach Cus has the best quote on this topic that I know:


My personal experiences of growth include multiple trips to Peru to partake in shamanic entheogenic journeys, yoga, breathwork, meditation, Vedic chanting, retreats with PSI Seminars, and my most powerful journey, an experience with the God Molecule, 5MEO-DMT.


Many of the states of consciousness feel like a state of pure Love – beyond pleasure, beyond bliss, beyond existence. These transcendent states have guided me to believe in my own fiction, that I am on the right path, and that I can change the world. Isn’t that what our lives are supposed to be about?

At the end of the weekend, I told Richie,

“You’re crazy. Maybe in your reality the world is flat, but it isn’t in mine. That’s ok. I still love you brother.”

Maybe Richie has traversed so many dimensions to a different reality that in his existence, the world is undeniably flat. Maybe when we meet, it is just a convergence of consciousness and we are experiencing a fractal reality through our own lens of perception and through the mysteries of quantum physics, we are both observing a form of truth in our own infinite realities…

Which Infinity? Love.