Tranquility Leads to Transcendence

I’ve been on a journey the past three years. Seeking. Finding myself. Unplugging from the Matrix. My grandfather named me based on the following Chinese 成語 , 寧靜致遠。

transcendence

Translation is a subtle thing.

  • Find Peace and One will Go Far in Life.
  • Keep Calm and Follow Through.
  • Tranquility Leads to Transcendence.

Names are a powerful thing. I was blessed with a good name. It literally translates to King of Transcendence. I’ve been seeking Higher Consciousness and found it through various modalities. This post is about these Red Pills.

red-or-blue-pill-matrix-neo-morpheus

“You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland… and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”

I was hanging out with Redbeard a few weeks ago, an old friend. He tells me,

“You’ve been on my todo list for years. To meet up with you, so you can explain LIFE to me.”

I’ve been using several primary modalities to increase consciousness. The synergy between the methods has felt like a deep cleaning of my consciousness, excavating trauma and breaking limiting beliefs.


1) Plant Medicines & Psychedelics

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  • Psilocybin
  • Ayahuasca
  • Bobinsana
  • Huachuma
  • Singada
  • Vilca
  • 5MEO-DMT

2) Yoga & Meditation

  • Jivani Yoga TT
  • The Cutting Machinery

3) Personal Development Work

  • PSI Seminars
  • Kwik Learning
  • JP Sears
  • Burning Man
  • Miss Rabbit

All of these different modalities have been profoundly transformative for me.

The Long Road. It never ends.

WHY

Hans Zimmer Live

The other night, I went to see Hans Zimmer Live with my wife. Before the concert, I took a sugar cube with some high-grade LSD. As we waited for the show to start, and the crowd filled the arena, the LSD began to kick in and I could feel a wave of reptilian energy flowing through the arena. It felt as though everyone in the entire place was whispering to me at the same time. It was a bit overwhelming, but I just breathed through it.

The energy settled and leveled out and the concert began.

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He introduced the incredible Tina Guo, speaking about how she learned to play the violin at the age of three and has practiced eight hours a day so she could play.

“The thing that hasn’t changed, and I don’t think will ever change, is that the operative word in music is “play.” You have to have a playfulness about it. As the world shifts, it’s starting to understand more and more that to have a playfulness about any and everything is actually the way of having a better life, or being more creative, or being more productive.” -Hans Zimmer

My third eye was open, and it was a religious/mystical experience. I could feel the presence of the divine as the energy of the music flowed through the room. The show was incredible, each piece had a divine energy to it, with Time from Inception as the finale. As Hans’ hands were projected onto the big screen, it felt as though God was playing the piano, metaphorically creating the universe.

As I watched the performance unfold in complete presence, everything felt perfect. The moment was perfect. The NOW was perfect.

HZL + LSD + PMB = WHY


The Work

For the past four years, I’ve spent most of my time on self-improvement and personal development. Spirituality. Psychedelics.

“You take the red pill. You stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes… Remember, all I’m offering is the truth, nothing more.”

The Work is about Truth.

“The truth is something that burns, it burns off deadwood and people don’t like having their deadwood burnt off often because they’re 95% deadwood” – Jordan Peterson

It is about discovering the True Self by unpeeling the layers of our emotional onions and shedding our limiting beliefs. Our limits exist due to echoes of traumatic experiences, embedded in our nervous systems and souls. These manifest as fears that trigger and threaten to take control of us until we reach the point of healing that we can decide how we want to react to our triggers and programs.

When we reach a certain level of consciousness, it becomes clear that our purpose and meaning on this planet is Service. Service to Humanity, and service to the Mother Earth. There is a certain clarity that occurs, where Purpose becomes clear. The Purpose is to raise the collective consciousness. That is the entire Nature of all Life. From bacteria to plants, fungi, fish, insects, birds, mammals, and man. The entire purpose is to Transcend.

My grandfather named me based on the following Chinese 成語 , 寧靜致遠。

transcendence

Translation is a subtle thing.

  • Find Peace and One will Go Far in Life.
  • Keep Calm and Follow Through.
  • Tranquility Leads to Transcendence.

Names are a powerful thing. I was blessed with a good name. It literally translates to King of Transcendence. I’ve been seeking Higher Consciousness and found it through various modalities. I’ve been using several primary modalities. The synergy between the methods has felt like a deep cleaning of my consciousness, excavating trauma and breaking limiting beliefs.

Jordan Peterson has a very clean view on reality based upon ancient traditions and psychology.

“The Purpose of Life is to find a mode of being that’s so Meaningful that the fact that Life is Suffering is no longer Relevant.” -Jordan Peterson

That is the goal of The Work.

 

Crypto Castles

A few days ago, I went to spend some time with the Godfather. I’ve known the Godfather for years now, meeting him at a dinner party in San Francisco over a decade ago. A few years ago, we hung out for a few days in Singapore and he talked about disruptive technologies including Bitcoin, drones, 3D printing and was full of life and energy. He hosted parties at the most exclusive nightclubs and was always surrounded by interesting, brilliant people.

The Godfather gave me a hug, put his hands on my shoulders, and smiled,

“Haven’t seen you in a minute, eh?”

“Let me introduce you to some people…”

He had just gotten the keys to a new house along the Venice canals, and there was a table full of crypto experts sitting around a table with their laptops, churning away, checking out ICOs, discussing blockchain technologies, and buzzing with creative excitement.

On the drive up, I listening to a futurism podcast that was talking about Blockchain:

It is the future.

jurassic-amber


I sat at a table, and a young blonde woman with bright eyes asked me,

“So what do you do besides this? (crypto)”

“Shamanism”, I replied.

She lit up and said, “Yes! They do go hand in hand.”

The Decentralization movement attracts an interesting mix of Hackers, Bankers, Libertarians, Anarchists, and Burners. A collision of the Technocracy and the Conscious Community. Code and Psychedelics.

“Who do you trust more? A third party? Or the fundamental laws of the Universe?”

Evening came, Amazon delivered bags of drinks and snacks, and guy wearing an EOS t-shirt arrives with several large pizzas. I chow down on a couple monster slices of heart attack pizza, covered with Canadian bacon as the futurism conversations continue.


It’s about time to go, so I head into the back room to say goodbye to The Godfather.

He puts his arm around me, looks me in the eyes and says,

“Alcohol. No good.
Weed. Some health benefits. I like it.
Cocaine, Opiates. Terrible. Absolutely terrible.
Psychedelics – uplifting. You know them well.
Now… my favorite drug of all is this.
Dissociative.”

He points at a small mound of white powder. It is a dissociative nootropic stack.

“I used to blast people off, but this is just like a sip of wine.”

He hands me a silver tube, with diamonds embedded into it.

“Silver. Kills bacteria.”

I place it to my nostril and snort the white powder. It begins to hit right away, and feels as though I’m slowly detaching my consciousness from my ego. I’m still looking through my eyes… but, I’m not exactly me. The hacker chemist who formulated the substance that I just took a hit of explains the chemistry behind what is hitting my brain, and it sounds like a foreign language. I look at him, with his messy orange hair and rainbow unicorn t-shirt, and the sheer absurdity and awesomeness of the experience hits me. My life has just been a series of wild adventures that get more surreal, more epic, and more world changing.

Suddenly, some feelings of Miss Rabbit come up. I can feel some connection with her and suddenly feel nauseous. I head into the bathroom and purge… from both ends. The pizza comes back up and out. It feels great. I spend some more time talking to the Godfather in a detached yet connected altered state.

I start feeling nauseuous again and the Godfather walks me upstairs.

“You can stay in the master bedroom. Overnight if you want. I have my other house down the street.”

I lay down on a furry blanket in the bed and hear a mosquito buzzing around. I am too tired and detached to be concerned about it and rest. I can feel myself letting go of everything. It felt as though Miss Rabbit was drifting away on her own raft, and I let her flow into her own stream of reality and whatever cosmic cord that attached me to her in Arrowhead was released. She will return completely in her own power now.

I drifted to sleep to the cacophony of tech chatter downstairs. A few hours later, I awoke to a quiet empty house with a mosquito bite on each of my elbows. It felt like a message that it’s time to focus on the mission, and let go of distractions. I have a rocketship to build.

rocketlaunch

Twins

It was finally time for Miss Rabbit to meet The Wife.

The Wife’s heart opened on Monday as I held space. She had been taking CBD Oil for about a week, and it was letting out some of her demons.

Today, a few days after our 21st wedding anniversary, she is in love with me again for the first time in decades, and more deeply and intensely than ever before. It is wonderful and powerful and feminine. She was finally able to relax the death grip of control that she was clinging to for the past decade. It was as though before this week, she was in a constant fight or flight state underneath the surface. Her subconscious mind could not let go of the grip of fear as though she was on a never ending roller coaster. She was gripping so tightly, she couldn’t receive love anymore.

On Monday, I let go of all expectation of The Wife. I loved her enough to completely surrender. She had no choice but to be empowered. As she was reborn in a fiery genesis, full of rage, grief, sorrow, and fear, I just held space with loving detachment. I felt peace as her storm raged around me. I just repeated that I loved her, I energetically poured love into her. She asked me to leave, she ended the relationship. I allowed her to and went downstairs and slept in the guest room.

The next morning, she came down and told me she hadn’t slept all night. She asked,

“So what do you want to do?”

“Whatever you want to do.”

She kept repeating the question in different ways, and I gave her the same answer. Finally, she asked me to come upstairs. She told me how sick she was of the judgment she felt from her sisters. I told her to lay back and put on some music. She closed her eyes, and I performed a hands-on breathing practice that I learned from my yoga teacher training in Costa Rica a couple years ago. As I gently placed my hands on her heart, solar plexus, and belly, I directed love and visualized her life energy aligning along her chakras. She wept deeply for about twenty minutes, and I let her rest and went to yoga class.

She rested the rest of the day, and the next morning woke up and said,

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever had a good night’s sleep.”

She told me,

“I’ve been praying to God that I could love you again, and He finally answered my prayers.”

Over the next few days, I told her more about Miss Rabbit, and how we loved each other unconditionally. She was doing her best to understand and accept it.


The Rabbit Hole

I brought The Wife over to the Rabbit Hole

Miss Rabbit asked me,

“What was your wife’s name again?”

“No way. I’ve been seeing the word twin everywhere.”

MTG TWN

We had a welcome call for the new business that we are starting together, and it was heartfelt and beautiful. Everyone shared from the heart.

“When you get to the other side. That’s where the good stuff is.”

We had a wonderful evening. I told the story of my career. I had some edibles, and had an interesting perspective of my past. I was looking at my previous self’s perspective through the lens of my current, wiser viewpoint. It was like seeing a Forrest Gump like man child stomping his way through life as though it was a video game.

Miss Rabbit cocks an eye at me, “I think this explains a lot about your wife’s situation.”

Miss Rabbit cooked a seafood stew and a beautiful quinoa avocado salad for dinner. We hung out until late into the night. I could see how much Miss Rabbit loved my wife. My wife was still healing, and her soul was raw and sensitive. The divine feminine energy is exactly what she needs. It is perfect.

The Way of the Shaman

The Long Road
A couple years ago, after a week of Ayahuasca ceremonies, and several Huachuma ceremonies and jungle walks, I returned late one night to my room and received a message from the universe. The Spirit of the Curandero. The Way of the Shaman. The Long Road.

thewayoftheshaman


CBD Conference
Last week, an invitation to Texas for a spiritual medicine gathering manifested. I flew and spent two days connecting with the medicine and a beautiful conscious community. The medicine is a CBD oil product formulated by a shamanic wizard chemist and is magic. The conference was full of scientific information and inspiring stories of transformation.

On the first day of the conference, I met Touch Healer from Boulder. She had a gentle beautiful spirit, and we connected immediately. I could feel her energy, a limbic resonance. We went to dinner at an Oaxacan restaurant and when we sat down, she said,

“I know we have a lot to say to each other, but can we just be with each other for a moment.”

We sat down at our table in the crowded restaurant and I gazed into her eyes. My being radiated with energy and the rest of the world melted away. It was a deep soul connection, and I felt clean and beautiful energy flowing through my body. Love. Pure.

Touch Healer began to share one of her personal fears, and slowly processed it. Then she said,

“How about our planet? What do you think?”

I just smiled at her and said,

“We’re going to be ok.”

I knew this in my soul from my journey in Arrowhead. The collective consciousness of humanity has figured out how to solve the world’s problems, and we are now manifesting the solutions. I nodded gently at her as tears streamed down her face. We then enjoyed a beautiful meal of various types of seafood with different mole sauces.

Touch Healer and I had a profound energetic connection. There was a point during the conference, she asked, “May I?” I nodded, and she put her arm around me. I felt a charge of energy… of love… emanating through our connection. It was deep and powerful and I laid my head on her shoulder, as the world outside melted away.

Beautiful.

The next day, I continued connecting with amazing people. I met a beautiful alien with green hair ornamented with feathers, with a Belgian Shephard dog and a Nepalese singing bowl.

“Would you like to walk my dog with me?”

We walked out to a nearby park, and laid on the grass, grounding after spending most of the day indoors. We talked about other dimensions and soaked in the blue sky, as the music from an ice cream truck provided a surreal soundtrack.

She invited me to an 11:11 ceremony with a hand drawn invitation card. At this point, another friend, Rowdy showed up and hung out with us for a while. A homeless man approaches us and asks for a birthday gift. We give him some cash and change, then sing happy birthday before heading back to the hotel for dinner.

The conference was amazing. I felt energized.


NASAPhoto Jun 11, 2 24 03 PM

The following day, I went to the NASA Space Center. I was inspired by what humanity can achieve when we work together. Amazing. During the tour, I saw the words:

UNITY, DESTINY, HARMONY

Photo Jun 17, 11 19 42 PM

A Prophecy.
We’re really going to be ok…


Grey Jedi Bee Medicine

Ahsoka-rain-art

After getting back to California, I headed up one day to spend time with friends. As I was driving up, Ahsoka, the Grey Jedi sent me this image and told me that she could feel me looking at her through this image.


I had sushi with the Alaskan Ninja, then coffee with a couple of spirit sisters, and went to Ahsoka’s place to catch up. We smoked a bowl, and she told me she had another friend coming over. She said she was afraid he’d be overly affectionate and it bothered her and made her uncomfortable.

Anti-Chris arrives and we head to the clubhouse. We swim in the pool and sit in the hot tub. Anti-Chris got affectionate with Ahsoka, and he got touchy and kissy. Ahsoka alternated between being uncomfortable and enjoying the attention. It triggered feelings of creepiness in me.

As I am sitting in the hot tub with Ahsoka, Anti-Chris hovers around and tells his story,

“All nine of my ex-girlfriends have been bipolar and ADHD.”

As he spoke of his life and his struggles, I could feel his darkness and shadow. I didn’t judge, just witnessed. Suddenly, a couple of bees showed up, and startled him. He had an experience as a child where he was stung by thousands of bees and almost died, so was understandably terrified.

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The bees began to orbit my head. They felt like electrons zipping around the nucleus of my brain. Bee Medicine entered my life in a strong way when I got stung by a solitary queen bee which somehow left a stinger in my left ring knuckle (solitary bees don’t leave their stingers, it must of torn off when I reacted and flicked it off of my stung knuckle) while I was hiking with my wife on LSD in Big Bear.

Trust in Miracles. Manifest Abundance. One of the bees ending up getting trapped behind me in a puddle of water as I sat in the hot tub. It was struggling and I blew it with a gust into the dry sunny concrete. Ahsoka looks at the bee with concern. Anti-Chris comes over and looks at it. I say,

“It’ll be ok. She’ll dry off and fly on her own.”

A few minutes later, the bee flew off.


Holding Space

We went inside. Later in the evening, I have Ahsoka some CBD Oil, then I put my arm around Ahsoka and channeled love in the same way that Touch Healer had showed me. Ahsoka started channeling spirit guides and her body began to move. She was delivering messages from the Universe.

“Mother Gaia wants me to tell you. Cannabis is medicine. The THC is the male part of the medicine… CBD is the female. CBD… will save the world.”

We were connecting psychically. She and I both understood that Anti-Chris was a fractal pattern that she was attracting to her based on some energy she had inside. I saw a reflection of myself in him. When he wanted to hug and kiss her, it was his channeling of love. He couldn’t help himself.

A few other friends came over to her condo and I told Ahsoka I was going to head home, and she grabbed my arm.

“Please stay. You’re the only one here I can really trust.”

She looks over at Anti-Chris as her hands make frantic hand signs and her eyes widen with fear and tells me,

“I should be looking for Luke, but I keep finding Anakins.”

She continued channeling and received messages from the television,

“Beware the Demon Samurai.”
“69 – Yin & Yang”

She lays down on her love mat – a futon like cushion that hovers inches off the floor and I lay down next to her holding space for her. My right hand hover over her body, and I continue to channel love and prana. She guides my hand and presses it on various parts of her body, and shares stories from her past. Stories of hurt and pain from men in her life, especially her ex, Steve. I can feel her releasing trauma. It is energetically intense, and I focus on hold pure, energetically clean space.

On the television, a news story comes on about Steve McNair and his murder. Her eyes go wide. “Steve…”

“And then she put a gun to her head.”

Ahsoka loses it and starts bawling. I continue to hold space and she continues telling stories. Finally she sits up and tells a story of her deepest shame…

“I felt like I was taken advantage of. It felt… alien

and then when we went camping, ___ saw us making out, and all the women found out.

The shame…”

I have my left hand on her back, and my right hand on her back as she energetically purged, trembling and releasing the shame… then weeping deeply. After several minutes, she calmed down, and relaxed.

“Where’s Anti-Chris? I can feel his jealousy… Anakins… I keep drawing them.”

By now it was nearly 3am, and I needed to drive home. The Way of the Shaman. The Long Road. I cannot deny it.

Spaceship Earth

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. And I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” – Benjamin Button

Three years ago, I was in Bali, and had my first experience with psychedelics. I ate two bags of psilocybin mushrooms on the beach in Nusa Dua and my heart opened. That night, I took a bubble bath that unveiled the layers of the universe to the windows of my perception. I telepathically communicated with a gecko.

“Gecko! Speak to me!”

“You suck at speaking to animals. You need to go do Ayahuasca.”

“…”

Two years ago, I went to Peru to find myself. I partook in a series of Ayahuasca ceremonies to find inspiration for the next chapter of my life. I already had a successful 23-year career in video games, my childhood dream job, and it was time for a change.

Mother Ayahuasca gave me a clear message,

“Open your wife’s heart. Mother Earth misses her.”

I asked Mother Ayahuasca many questions. Invariably, the answer would simply be, “Love.” So obvious. So simple. So profound. Yet, so hard to practice.

I traveled all over the world, into other dimensions, explored other perspectives, deepened my perception, and healed. I experimented with every modality of raising consciousness I could find and devoured them all. I communed with the spirits of Ayahuasca, Huachuma, Bobinsana, Vilca, Singado, and Psilocybin. I experimented with synthetics, MDMA and LSD, which didn’t resonate as much for me, though they were positive experiences. I conducted my own personal mapacho and cannabis ceremonies – on my own, and with loved ones. I kept seeking. Learning.

I also dove into the deep end of yoga and meditation, doing a yoga teacher training in Costa Rica, and practicing various forms of meditation and pranayama. I explored the world of personal development with PSI Seminars and the Kwik Learning Conference.

Finally, this year, I met God. I became one with the universe twice this year. 5MEO-DMT. The God Molecule. The most profound experience imaginable.

My intentions:

Surrender. Unconditional Love. Love and Abundance.

This energy has been seared into my soul. I have a constant connection to Source now. I wake up flowing with prana, filled with love, and my presence in the NOW is stronger than ever in my life.

Abundance is flowing. I am surrounded by love. So much love. Community.

Last week, my oldest daughter experienced her first true heartbreak. Her high school sweetheart broke up with her. She is so sad. Crying and asking herself why. For the first few days, she just wanted to be left alone to cry in her room, so we let her.

Last night, I was watching Silicon Valley in my office, and she came in.

I comforted her.

“There is no why. He is an 18 year old boy, about to move to New York by himself. You both are too young.

It’s ok to feel sad. Feel it as deeply as you can. This is life. This is love.

You will love again. Don’t let this make you be afraid to love.”

She cried. I continued to comfort her, placing my hand gently on her shoulder and rubbed her back.

“Mom and I love you, and we’ll always be here for you. Mom has healed. I had to go heal myself, so that she could heal herself too. Our family is healed. Be happy for that.

We are so proud of you.”

She shakes her head.

“We are so proud. We love you so much.”

She continues to cry. I can feel her doubt and feelings of low self-worth. I pour love into her and let her release her energy. Surrender. She asks if she can just lay in my office as I finish my show, and I let her rest.

That night, I have a profound realization.

My divine purpose: To heal myself so that I can hold the space for those around me to heal. The universe led me to heal myself by giving me an assignment to heal my wife. Divine purpose coursed through my being, like an electrical current of love.

As my shaman whispered in my ear two years ago during a Huachuma ceremony deep in the jungle, right before I snorted liquid fire (Singado) up my nostrils.

“Remember. It’s about unconditional, universal Love.

Surrender. You’re so good at it.”

Love. So obvious. So simple. So profound. So easy… If we let everything go. Surrender.

When that seems hard, I remember the words of the wise man, Joe Rogan:

“If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”

talkingmonkeys

Life is fucking amazing.

A Tale of Two Trees

August 2016

I went to the Ranch during the last week of July, where I participated in an experiential seminar that helped me to transform my being and freed some buried trauma. Raptorman left Barstow and was back in Sacramento with Jimmy, chasing Janeway, and they were back on the streets. He put together a demo of our technology. It featured images of broken Barstow and old school computers from the 70’s. It featured a Nine Inch Nails soundtrack and while it was technically cool, it was quite dark. It felt like I was peering into a dark part of Raptorman’s mind. I called him on Monday morning, and experienced some of his darkness and fear from whatever he was going through on the streets. I started questioning whether it was the right decision to continue working with him, because the darkness scared me.

That afternoon, I walked up to a giant oak tree at the Ranch, and placed my hand on it, “I love you Grandfather Tree.” I sat under it, and as soon as I sat down, there was a large cracking sound. I continued to sit with my back against its trunk, and meditated for about ten minutes, feeling the spirit of the tree and talking to it. It responded with cracking and popping sounds… I found it odd, however, I didn’t really thing much of it.

The class went back into the lecture hall inside the main building near the tree, and thirty minutes later, there was a large crash that shook the building, and the instructor says “Well, sounds like the tree went down.” When we went back outside, the tree had split in half, one of the trunks split and fell on the building. At first, I thought maybe it was a warning from the universe about working with Raptorman building AI, and the darkness that we could unleash on the world with it.

A crew started chainsawing and cleaning off the remnants of the fallen trunk throughout the week. As the week went on, and I healed some trauma through the experiential work, when I walked past the tree day by day, I realized that the Grandfather Tree had absorbed darkness from me (and also from Raptorman through my link to him?), dispersed it through the dead trunk and released the darkness.

That Thursday, Grandfather Tree‘s debris was fully cleaned up, which was the same day I had a huge transformative breakthrough at the seminar and an experience of true love with a Unicorn.

I decided at the end of the week to open source parts of the software we were building and to send Spliff and Jimmy $1,500/month so they could have a roof over their heads. They moved into a motel in Chinatown and the project lived on.

I arrived home, and when I looked in my backyard, the tree in my backyard also had split in half. Prior to my trip to the Ranch, my wife was in a place of severe darkness and depression, and I was sleeping in the guest room. As soon as I returned, her eyes were shining with love and she said “I love you again.” I asked her what happened with the tree in the backyard, and she said “I don’t know. It just fell down on Friday.”

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Both trees survived, and were saved. Every time we blaze in the backyard, the Backyard Tree is there, linked to the spirit of the Grandfather Tree, watching over us with love.