The Way of the Shaman

The Long Road
A couple years ago, after a week of Ayahuasca ceremonies, and several Huachuma ceremonies and jungle walks, I returned late one night to my room and received a message from the universe. The Spirit of the Curandero. The Way of the Shaman. The Long Road.

thewayoftheshaman


CBD Conference
Last week, an invitation to Texas for a spiritual medicine gathering manifested. I flew and spent two days connecting with the medicine and a beautiful conscious community. The medicine is a CBD oil product formulated by a shamanic wizard chemist and is magic. The conference was full of scientific information and inspiring stories of transformation.

On the first day of the conference, I met Touch Healer from Boulder. She had a gentle beautiful spirit, and we connected immediately. I could feel her energy, a limbic resonance. We went to dinner at an Oaxacan restaurant and when we sat down, she said,

“I know we have a lot to say to each other, but can we just be with each other for a moment.”

We sat down at our table in the crowded restaurant and I gazed into her eyes. My being radiated with energy and the rest of the world melted away. It was a deep soul connection, and I felt clean and beautiful energy flowing through my body. Love. Pure.

Touch Healer began to share one of her personal fears, and slowly processed it. Then she said,

“How about our planet? What do you think?”

I just smiled at her and said,

“We’re going to be ok.”

I knew this in my soul from my journey in Arrowhead. The collective consciousness of humanity has figured out how to solve the world’s problems, and we are now manifesting the solutions. I nodded gently at her as tears streamed down her face. We then enjoyed a beautiful meal of various types of seafood with different mole sauces.

Touch Healer and I had a profound energetic connection. There was a point during the conference, she asked, “May I?” I nodded, and she put her arm around me. I felt a charge of energy… of love… emanating through our connection. It was deep and powerful and I laid my head on her shoulder, as the world outside melted away.

Beautiful.

The next day, I continued connecting with amazing people. I met a beautiful alien with green hair ornamented with feathers, with a Belgian Shephard dog and a Nepalese singing bowl.

“Would you like to walk my dog with me?”

We walked out to a nearby park, and laid on the grass, grounding after spending most of the day indoors. We talked about other dimensions and soaked in the blue sky, as the music from an ice cream truck provided a surreal soundtrack.

She invited me to an 11:11 ceremony with a hand drawn invitation card. At this point, another friend, Rowdy showed up and hung out with us for a while. A homeless man approaches us and asks for a birthday gift. We give him some cash and change, then sing happy birthday before heading back to the hotel for dinner.

The conference was amazing. I felt energized.


NASAPhoto Jun 11, 2 24 03 PM

The following day, I went to the NASA Space Center. I was inspired by what humanity can achieve when we work together. Amazing. During the tour, I saw the words:

UNITY, DESTINY, HARMONY

Photo Jun 17, 11 19 42 PM

A Prophecy.
We’re really going to be ok…


Grey Jedi Bee Medicine

Ahsoka-rain-art

After getting back to California, I headed up one day to spend time with friends. As I was driving up, Ahsoka, the Grey Jedi sent me this image and told me that she could feel me looking at her through this image.


I had sushi with the Alaskan Ninja, then coffee with a couple of spirit sisters, and went to Ahsoka’s place to catch up. We smoked a bowl, and she told me she had another friend coming over. She said she was afraid he’d be overly affectionate and it bothered her and made her uncomfortable.

Anti-Chris arrives and we head to the clubhouse. We swim in the pool and sit in the hot tub. Anti-Chris got affectionate with Ahsoka, and he got touchy and kissy. Ahsoka alternated between being uncomfortable and enjoying the attention. It triggered feelings of creepiness in me.

As I am sitting in the hot tub with Ahsoka, Anti-Chris hovers around and tells his story,

“All nine of my ex-girlfriends have been bipolar and ADHD.”

As he spoke of his life and his struggles, I could feel his darkness and shadow. I didn’t judge, just witnessed. Suddenly, a couple of bees showed up, and startled him. He had an experience as a child where he was stung by thousands of bees and almost died, so was understandably terrified.

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The bees began to orbit my head. They felt like electrons zipping around the nucleus of my brain. Bee Medicine entered my life in a strong way when I got stung by a solitary queen bee which somehow left a stinger in my left ring knuckle (solitary bees don’t leave their stingers, it must of torn off when I reacted and flicked it off of my stung knuckle) while I was hiking with my wife on LSD in Big Bear.

Trust in Miracles. Manifest Abundance. One of the bees ending up getting trapped behind me in a puddle of water as I sat in the hot tub. It was struggling and I blew it with a gust into the dry sunny concrete. Ahsoka looks at the bee with concern. Anti-Chris comes over and looks at it. I say,

“It’ll be ok. She’ll dry off and fly on her own.”

A few minutes later, the bee flew off.


Holding Space

We went inside. Later in the evening, I have Ahsoka some CBD Oil, then I put my arm around Ahsoka and channeled love in the same way that Touch Healer had showed me. Ahsoka started channeling spirit guides and her body began to move. She was delivering messages from the Universe.

“Mother Gaia wants me to tell you. Cannabis is medicine. The THC is the male part of the medicine… CBD is the female. CBD… will save the world.”

We were connecting psychically. She and I both understood that Anti-Chris was a fractal pattern that she was attracting to her based on some energy she had inside. I saw a reflection of myself in him. When he wanted to hug and kiss her, it was his channeling of love. He couldn’t help himself.

A few other friends came over to her condo and I told Ahsoka I was going to head home, and she grabbed my arm.

“Please stay. You’re the only one here I can really trust.”

She looks over at Anti-Chris as her hands make frantic hand signs and her eyes widen with fear and tells me,

“I should be looking for Luke, but I keep finding Anakins.”

She continued channeling and received messages from the television,

“Beware the Demon Samurai.”
“69 – Yin & Yang”

She lays down on her love mat – a futon like cushion that hovers inches off the floor and I lay down next to her holding space for her. My right hand hover over her body, and I continue to channel love and prana. She guides my hand and presses it on various parts of her body, and shares stories from her past. Stories of hurt and pain from men in her life, especially her ex, Steve. I can feel her releasing trauma. It is energetically intense, and I focus on hold pure, energetically clean space.

On the television, a news story comes on about Steve McNair and his murder. Her eyes go wide. “Steve…”

“And then she put a gun to her head.”

Ahsoka loses it and starts bawling. I continue to hold space and she continues telling stories. Finally she sits up and tells a story of her deepest shame…

“I felt like I was taken advantage of. It felt… alien

and then when we went camping, ___ saw us making out, and all the women found out.

The shame…”

I have my left hand on her back, and my right hand on her back as she energetically purged, trembling and releasing the shame… then weeping deeply. After several minutes, she calmed down, and relaxed.

“Where’s Anti-Chris? I can feel his jealousy… Anakins… I keep drawing them.”

By now it was nearly 3am, and I needed to drive home. The Way of the Shaman. The Long Road. I cannot deny it.

Spaceship Earth

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. And I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” – Benjamin Button

Three years ago, I was in Bali, and had my first experience with psychedelics. I ate two bags of psilocybin mushrooms on the beach in Nusa Dua and my heart opened. That night, I took a bubble bath that unveiled the layers of the universe to the windows of my perception. I telepathically communicated with a gecko.

“Gecko! Speak to me!”

“You suck at speaking to animals. You need to go do Ayahuasca.”

“…”

Two years ago, I went to Peru to find myself. I partook in a series of Ayahuasca ceremonies to find inspiration for the next chapter of my life. I already had a successful 23-year career in video games, my childhood dream job, and it was time for a change.

Mother Ayahuasca gave me a clear message,

“Open your wife’s heart. Mother Earth misses her.”

I asked Mother Ayahuasca many questions. Invariably, the answer would simply be, “Love.” So obvious. So simple. So profound. Yet, so hard to practice.

I traveled all over the world, into other dimensions, explored other perspectives, deepened my perception, and healed. I experimented with every modality of raising consciousness I could find and devoured them all. I communed with the spirits of Ayahuasca, Huachuma, Bobinsana, Vilca, Singado, and Psilocybin. I experimented with synthetics, MDMA and LSD, which didn’t resonate as much for me, though they were positive experiences. I conducted my own personal mapacho and cannabis ceremonies – on my own, and with loved ones. I kept seeking. Learning.

I also dove into the deep end of yoga and meditation, doing a yoga teacher training in Costa Rica, and practicing various forms of meditation and pranayama. I explored the world of personal development with PSI Seminars and the Kwik Learning Conference.

Finally, this year, I met God. I became one with the universe twice this year. 5MEO-DMT. The God Molecule. The most profound experience imaginable.

My intentions:

Surrender. Unconditional Love. Love and Abundance.

This energy has been seared into my soul. I have a constant connection to Source now. I wake up flowing with prana, filled with love, and my presence in the NOW is stronger than ever in my life.

Abundance is flowing. I am surrounded by love. So much love. Community.

Last week, my oldest daughter experienced her first true heartbreak. Her high school sweetheart broke up with her. She is so sad. Crying and asking herself why. For the first few days, she just wanted to be left alone to cry in her room, so we let her.

Last night, I was watching Silicon Valley in my office, and she came in.

I comforted her.

“There is no why. He is an 18 year old boy, about to move to New York by himself. You both are too young.

It’s ok to feel sad. Feel it as deeply as you can. This is life. This is love.

You will love again. Don’t let this make you be afraid to love.”

She cried. I continued to comfort her, placing my hand gently on her shoulder and rubbed her back.

“Mom and I love you, and we’ll always be here for you. Mom has healed. I had to go heal myself, so that she could heal herself too. Our family is healed. Be happy for that.

We are so proud of you.”

She shakes her head.

“We are so proud. We love you so much.”

She continues to cry. I can feel her doubt and feelings of low self-worth. I pour love into her and let her release her energy. Surrender. She asks if she can just lay in my office as I finish my show, and I let her rest.

That night, I have a profound realization.

My divine purpose: To heal myself so that I can hold the space for those around me to heal. The universe led me to heal myself by giving me an assignment to heal my wife. Divine purpose coursed through my being, like an electrical current of love.

As my shaman whispered in my ear two years ago during a Huachuma ceremony deep in the jungle, right before I snorted liquid fire (Singado) up my nostrils.

“Remember. It’s about unconditional, universal Love.

Surrender. You’re so good at it.”

Love. So obvious. So simple. So profound. So easy… If we let everything go. Surrender.

When that seems hard, I remember the words of the wise man, Joe Rogan:

“If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”

talkingmonkeys

Life is fucking amazing.

You are what you LOVE.

“You are what you love, not what loves you.”

Since my first visit to the jungle, two years ago, much has happened. I was given a mission from Mother Ayahuasca.

“Open your wife’s heart. Mother Earth misses her.”

What? No, I mean, for work, what should I be doing?

“Open your wife’s heart.”

Hmmm.

I came back from Peru and was excited. The solution was obvious:

“Honey, I think you should go to the jungle and drink this potion. It’s healed me!”

Uh, the Universe wasn’t letting me off that easy. I had work to do. Over the next two years, I went on a journey around the world, across the universe, seeking. I had to conquer my demons… dark ones… twisted around my soul, buried inside my ego.

My travels brought me in contact with beautiful souls that I connected with, and with the intensity of some of the experiences, I found myself falling in love with beautiful women that crossed my path. Unicorns.

There was the Dolphin Shamaness who I met on a Pilgrimage in Peru. We drank Grandfather Medicine together, birthed universes, and had a spirit baby in the labyrinth of Chavin.

A year later, I met beautiful Tattoo Song on a California Ranch. We were doing transformative work together, and during a meditation, I felt her soul connect to mine. She started crying, and we went for a walk. She told me:

“Two weeks ago, my fiancee found me on the bathroom floor. I had swallowed 200 pills. The doctor said there was no way I should be alive. Now I know why God sent me back… it was so I could come to this Ranch and meet you.”

I felt overwhelming love… We shared some tender moments, we shared a dance. Then, after returning to reality, she ghosted me. I still loved her for a year, despite that we only had a momentary glimpse of a future dimension… an infinite second in the journey of life, a window that closed as soon as it opened. I realized, she was a teacher… to teach me unconditional love.

Unconditional means surrender. It means letting go completely of any expectation and result.

lovechakra

A few weeks ago, I had a calling to meet Miss Rabbit. We met over sushi, and the connection was instant. I felt drawn to Miss Rabbit, and came home and told my wife we could let the marriage go. We had worked hard at it, and we knew we loved each other. After all these years, I let go. I let go of expectations. I was okay if we were never intimate again. I let go of any guilt and shame of failing at marriage. I let go of fears of what would happen to my wife if I left her. I trusted in her to be strong enough.

That night, I released all that energy. Expectations are a heavy burden to carry. I wept, and my wife reached over and held me. The next day, she called while I was on the road for business.

“I was listening to the universe this morning, and it said that we can choose to love. I choose to love you.”

After years, my wife’s heart cracked open. Not fully, but she was feeling again.

A few days later, with my wife’s blessing, I had my trip with Miss Rabbit, and felt the love growing and culminating in maybe the most loving experience of my life.

Today, Miss Rabbit pretty much told me, “Mate. Not happening, dude.”

Everyone falls in love with Miss Rabbit. That’s her magic. We don’t get to choose who we love.

Maybe we don’t get to choose who, but we can choose to love.

I told her, “That’s ok. I’m still going to love you.”

A couple months ago, during a trip to Catalina Island, the Alaskan Ninja mentioned this scene from the movie Adaptation to me.

That’s true love. No one can take it away from you.

Surrender

(Two Years Ago)

A group of twelve of us had spent the day in the jungle, heightened by Grandfather Medicine, exploring the energies of the Amazon. We were Higher Primates exploring the energetic fields of nature. We returned to Sanctuary and one of the monkeys was behaving like a Dark Monkey… Lusting for power, beating his chest, and generally pissing us other monkeys off.

We gathered in a circle around the Mesada. I began at the head of the cross shaped table, and we slowly circled around, with the Dark Monkey directly across from me, emanating lust for power. I saw the rest of the group turning their backs to him, and I just faced him and looked at him. As the energetics of the mesa shifted based on position, I felt the power ebb and flow. When I reached the highest male dominant energy point, a moth began to flutter around me… I raised and lowered the my internal prana energy and noticed as I raised it, the moth would flutter towards the candle flame in front of me, and as I lowered the moth would fly away out of sight.

I heard a message from the Grandfather Medicine:

“Strength over power.”

I began to control the energy with my breath, lowering the energy to a low rumble in my belly, and suddenly, the moth flew up the left sleeve of my t-shirt, and crawled across my chest, centered on my heart. We continued back around the table, and I took a seat in my rocking chair, and the moth crawled out my right sleeve, up my arm, onto my finger, and perched itself there, looking at me.

The shaman rang a chime, and the moth fluttered away.

The shaman beckons me to the mesa, and offers me Singado, which I snort up my nostrils, igniting my sinuses with liquid fire. My eyes water. As I put my fingers back on the table, he whispered in my ear:

“Just surrender, you’re so good at it…
…and remember, it’s about universal, unconditional love.”

I stared at the stone Lanzon, and saw flames emitting from the crown of the stone statue, and felt my entire body radiate universal love. I looked ahead at the tapestry that formed a three dimensional face that was part reflection, part dream, and part God. I felt myself being pulled upward toward the ceiling of the Maloka. I was surrendering and it felt intense for a few moments as if I was lifting off the ground, then the sensation faded.

(Today)

A few nights ago, I experienced full surrender (and even recalled it this time)… I was at a Sasquatch house, and experienced a ceremony that took me to another dimension.

I set my intention:

“Love and Abundance for my family and soul tribe. Surrender to my life’s purpose. Transmute my self doubt.”

I experienced the bliss of ultimate complete surrender and connected to the collective consciousness of humanity, where I knew that our collective could solve humanity’s problems. We are going to be okay. I received an assignment which was downloaded into my subconscious mind.

“You know what the project is.”

I realized at that moment that it has all been worth it. Miss Rabbit, who was along on the journey with me entered my consciousness and our souls connected profoundly and I was overwhelmed with joy and love. It radiated out of my soul.

On the drive back from Sasquatch Lake, Miss Rabbit and I zoomed along the beautiful mountain road, under beautiful skies, and the following song came on… Life was perfect at that moment.

Mile High Tripping

Cover Artwork by Alex Andreev

Over the weekend, I made a crazy road trip to Denver, Colorado with Green Lantern. We went to meet the Wizard, who met us from Kansas with his wife, Dorothy, and dog, Toto. It was a long drive, with amazing scenery through Utah. On the way there and back, it looked as though we were driving through an ancient planet with the ruins of giant alien fortresses in the distance.

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We arrived late on Friday night, and on Saturday, met the Wizard at his downtown hotel. We had a heavy blaze session with some Durban Poison, Stratos Energy Sativa pills, FlasQ Elixirs and Tinctures. We got to know the Wizard and discussed various types of technology magic for the day. It was quite an amazing time, though there were definitely times of Durban Confusion and a Trial by Fire. [6588]

During the weekend, Green Lantern and I checked out a few of the local 420 businesses in town: the Smoking Gun Apothecary, Mile High Green Cross, and the Wizard’s friend’s glass shop, Positive Vibes. It is amazing to see how many cool products they had, and the booming industry.

Sunday night, our friend Xena, who after attending a personal growth PSI Basic Seminar all weekend, had dinner with us then we all smoked a joint. We all headed back to the room and Xena started really tripping out and talking to herself.

I told Lantern at that point, The Dude Abides Principle from the book E^2 by Pam Grout.

e-squared.jpg

Theory: There is an invisible Energy Force or Field of Infinite Possibilities

The Dude Abides Principle says that if we ask this Force or Field (God, the Universe, Source) for an unexpected gift or blessing in the next 48 hours, that He would abide. I told Lantern, let’s set that intention now (Sunday night).

That night, Xena had a healing session, where she spoke to various aspects of her subconscious, which manifested as multiple personas… At the end of the night, she appeared to merge the various personalities back into herself. It was intense and I held the space throughout the night.

dupli-kates

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Green Lantern and I drove back to Vegas the next morning.


Blue has always been my favorite color, and it resonates even more lately. Green Lantern says:

“You’re a Blue Lantern. Their power is Hope.

The Blue Lanterns are the weakest on their own, however, combined with the Green Lanterns (Willpower), they are the most powerful.”

I realize that I’m the Blue Quantum Shaman, partnered with the Green Quantum Shaman. During the drive, I realized that being Spliff MacGyver is a lifestyle… Green Lantern is also Green Spliff MacGyver, and with Raptorman gone, I no longer had him around to roll spliffs for us and have been mastering the art of rolling as Blue Spliff MacGyver.

bluelantern.jpg

After these realizations, we noticed some storm clouds forming. Epic lightning flashed across the sky… It felt like a supernatural storm. Suddenly, it began to hail… hard. Hail rattled the car, and as I drove, I could feel the car sliding on the slick mountain road coated with ice. It felt dangerous, and an intense feeling of flow and focus came over me.

We eventually made it to the Eye of the Storm… As we drove through the Eye, we came across a roadkill carcass on the road. Green Lantern got a good look at it.

“It was a jackrabbit.”

The Rabbit has been a spirit guide for me in the past few years, so I felt it as an uncomfortable omen…

eyeofthestorm.png

As we drove out of the Eye, back into the storm, the hail increased, and the car began to slide around again. Incline signs appeared, and other cars began to pull over on the side of the road. I drove on, slow and steady, with intense focus to keep us safe.

We eventually pulled out of the storm, and stopped at a Rest Area. Green Lantern looks at me wide eyed.

“Was that the Dude’s Gift? What does it mean?!?!”

It was a message from the universe…

“Don’t Stay in the Eye. Progress happens on the borders of your comfort zone. When you leave the eye and weather the storm, the entire world awaits beyond.”

Since channeling the fire to drive through that storm, I realize that I have the strength to push through the storms in my life, and that same level of flow and focus that I felt when driving through the storm has been the same feeling of courage and energy that I’ve been cultivating through various practices.

Willpower and Hope.

It was a Gift.